I've always worn the fanny pack even when it fell out of style and came back again and fell out again. I love them. To prove my point, I will share this true and tragic tale.
This past summer, my boyfriend decided to throw me a surprise birthday party at my favorite restaurant in the city. Not knowing that 10 of my closest friends would be at the restaurant to greet me, I decided to put together a casual-smart look that included a beige center seam t-shirt, dark wash jeans, dark brown Gucci loafers and my pale blue MiuMiu fanny pack (circa 1999 when MiuMiu still made men's clothing/accessories).
It should have dawned on me that something was up when my boyfriend asked me "that's what you're going to wear tonight?"
But I didn't care since I love wearing my fanny pack because it holds everything I need and is placed in a convenient place. And there's nothing more unattractive on a man than a bulky pocket. Naturally, when we arrived at the restaurant, I think my friends were more surprised to see me wearing a fanny pack than I was surprised to see all of them in one place. One described me as a super gay Batman. Another was impressed that I held on to something so old. Someone else called it "so Carrie Bradshaw" (ick!).
In the end they all had a good laugh. But with the return of the fanny pack on the Spring 2014 runways, guess who's laughing now. Guess I've been ahead, to the side, to the back of the pack all this time.
YES
I actually should upgrade to a Lonchamp leather belt bag (fancy way of saying fanny pack).
NO
If you are a middle-aged suburban parent or have an ass the size of Saturn, the fanny pack is not for you. Sorry Glenn Coco.
MAYBE
You're Will Smith and you want to leave your fanny pack days behind along with your flat top haircut and music career. #parentsjustdon'tunderstand.
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