Hair Today; Still Hair Tomorrow

 

Mesmerized. That's the only word to describe how I feel about this YouTube sensation called Caboki. It's like Japanese drama theater for men's hair. And men obsess about their hair as much as women obsess about their breasts, their butt, their nose, their feet, hands, lips...okay, women obsess about every body part they have. In some ways, women are masochists. If it's a part of the body, girls will compare it to other women and decide whether or not to feel good about it. Is that why a poorly written book called 50 Shades of Gray such a best seller?

Men only compare themselves to other men based on a few things:

1. Money

2. Penis size

3. Hot wife

4. Hair

5. Body types

They do this because the other things make up for what they're lacking. It's like playing rock, paper, scissors. One trumps the other. Money trumps having a small penis, having a less hot wife, being bald and fat. You can buy a Ferrari to compensate for the penis, trade in the wife at the Scores dealership, buy a custom made weave and pay for all over body liposuction. 

Conversely, hot wives are attracted to money and big penises. I mean you've never heard a girl say, I married him for his amazing body. They're more likely to say, I had a one night stand with a that guy with the abs, who will then be nicknamed washboard or six-pack.

Since money is relegated to the 10%, large penises are a genetic gamble, and hot wives are fickle, hair is the next thing on the list that men can feel a sense of pride. It also grows back quickly. Think about the millions of Bieber-clones that have popped up in every fast food court across America. Boys at a young age, figure out that hair is important at a time when hair starts growing at different parts of their body.

That's when guys get attached to their hair. They spend many formative years and hours sculpting it into the perfect spikes, months growing it to the length acceptable of a surfer and color it to the right shade of black to get the goth look they want before going to a Marilyn Manson concert. So it's easy to imagine the separation anxiety men have when they lose their hair. For a lot of guys, it's like losing an important body part. And if there's a powder, pill, hair in a can formula to help them get their hair back, they will most definitely try it. Even if it's just out of curiosity with false hopes. 
 

And Caboki is the latest development to captivate men on YouTube. Sure it made me think of the classic Ronco Infomercial called GLH (see here)

But let's hear it for the boys and give them credit for trying.

YES: Try Caboki if you're curious. Lord knows I am and I have shoulder length hair.
NO: Don't shave your head and try Caboki just for fun...it's insensitive to the genetically bald. Be PC.
MAYBE: You look better bald (Matt Lauer), because even without hair, you're still an A-hole!