Look What's Trending: Show Me Your Guns

Raf Simons introduced the sleeveless blazer a few seasons back and it was one of those things you see and think, well isn't that nice. He cut the sleeves off the blazer to save money. And it's classic but different. It's perfect for that design guy who doesn't attend budget meetings or the guy who doesn't have to go to court and defend a murderer. The sleeveless blazer (aka. the slazer) is perfect for someone in a creative field like a designer, architect or freelancing something or other. It's funny how an artsy guy is given carte blanche to wear whatever he wants so long as he says it's because it's a part of his artistic vision. Not bathing and greasy hair also seems to be a part of being an artist.

Luckily I'm not a Jackson Pollock. I dabble in Picasso, but that's about it.

So Raf Simons' slazer put me on the fence, especially since it's trending. It's been in every runway out there this past fall, so it's on tipping point level. I want to think that I'm an early trend adopter, but I'm not a responsible lawyer or a banker, but I'm not changing the world through art and music either. And I think the new slazer is embarrassingly intriguing.It's cool and lets my arm pits breathe. More importantly, it lets me show off my guns. Sure I'm just a pistol compared to Michelle Obama's two shotguns, but they're decent enough for a slazer.

If you see me on the street rocking the slazer in all its glory, don't shoot!

YES: If you're confident enough to show off your guns, then flex your style muscles
NO: If you are a lawyer or  a total square
MAYBE: If you think of the slazer as just another vest, then you're a okay

Spray on the Cs

My friend recently told me that I have lost my "luster." He defined it as the natural glow that youthful and taut skin has naturally. Hearing it for the first time stung, especially since I've had random women stop me on the street to tell me that I had beautiful skin and to reveal my secrets. I would demure, lie and say it's all due to clean living and lots of water. But the truth is that after years of drinking, staying out all night, working late hours and staring at a blinding computer screen has finally taken its toll on my skin. Simply put, it has dulled.

The proof is evident everywhere I go. The checkout clerks at the Trader Joe's wine store are less likely to ask for my ID, the bouncer at the door just waves me in and the sales person at Barney's now calls me "sir." Ouch!

I'm not stupid per se since I always expected to get old at some point. It just snuck up on me.So what's a guy with the once lustrous skin supposed to do? He tries to find it in a bottle. With the dry fall season coming up, I'm a big fan of The Body Shop's Vitamin C energizing face spray. It doesn't reverse aging, but it does help to hydrate the surface of the skin. The light orange floral smell is also refreshing. I use the spray 2 to 3 times throughout the day to get my glow on. 

The Jersey Shore boys (may their show rest in peace) showed us that guys care about grooming and their bronzed glowing skin as much as women do.


So don't put your skin in a bad "situation." Spray on the C's.

YES: Try it if you get dry facial skin in the winter
NO: Spraying your face with Tropicana orange juice isn't the same
MAYBE: You don't need it since you hide behind your beard

In the Trenches

 

It was Breakfast at Tiffany's when I first noticed the trench coat. I was struck by the unisex design of the garment. The fact that both a man and woman could wear a similar garment felt revolutionary to me. Growing up in a warmr climate all my life, I was also intrigued by the trench coat because it seemed so foreign. It was something only people in northern climates with weather that fell below 65 degrees wore on regularity.

 

The only people I would see with a trench coat were adults who traveled through town. You would see them in the airport carried on the arms of weary travelers. It was as foreign to me as grass skirts, pineapple and tiki gods were to the travelers coming to town for an exotic vacation. I couldn't wait to get my hands on a trench coat when I moved out of the equator.  

My first attempt at a trench coat was London Fog and it was way too big. I looked like Inspector Gadget, but I didn't care. I was cool. But as I got older, I got out of the fog and decided to invest in a better trench coat. What's more iconic than Burberry? Its plaid pattern, gold buttons and leather buckle drew me in like a bee to honey. Even as the trench coat has become the must have item for every Tom, Dick, Harry and his brothe and cousin and best friend, the trench coat is still the sweetest and best purchase of my life. Now when I travel, I carry my trench coat on my arm on my way to a mai tai on the beach.

YES: It's a definite classic for both men and women
NO: You don't need a Burberry trench coat
MAYBE: You live in the sub tropics and wouldn't wear a trench all year round. But when you travel, you'll need a trench coat. It's universal.

What's a big guy to wear?

Guys have an interesting relationship with food. They love to eat (A LOT!). Barbecue, hot wings, beer and nachos are testosterone packed superfoods in the male version of the food pyramid. Every day is Super Bowl Sunday.Take that Michelle Obama. On the flip side, guys don't get six packs on a diet of Domino's Pizza, Coors Light and Hooter's buffalo wings. Guys want that too for the most part.

Whether he's gay, straight, bi-sexual or a girl who's in transition to becoming a man, NO man in his right mind wakes up in the morning and says, "today is the day that I'm going to be real fat and feel real good about myself." Really?!

Just because men don't have The View panel providing daily reminders about the scary pitfalls of anorexia, doesn't mean that men don't have body issues. A guy is expected to drink a pitcher of beer, wolf down a double cheeseburger and enjoy a plate of wings with cheesy fries without a problem. It's a right of passage to be a man. Pigging out and carbing out are exclusively male. But on the flip side, guys have to live up to the sex appeal of the True Blood cast of vampires and the charm of George Clooney.  

So what's a fat guy to do? He does what everyone else does, he compensates. He learns how to play the guitar, tells jokes or becomes the super fan of a sport that would cause him to have a heart attack and die on the field if he tried to play it.

It's the growing (pardon the inevitable pun) number of fat men in the country that has forced many designers to add spandex to everything they make. They need to accommodate the expanding midsection of men. As a side note, a fat guy in a designer track suit is one of my most favorite ironies in life. It's obvious that he doesn't wear the track suit on or near the race track, unless there's a buffet event being held there.

Stores have also gone to the extent of lying to men in order to make them feel better about their diabetic bodies. They have worked the sizes so that a size 34 in pants is actually a 36 or 38 inches around. I could put Old Navy and Gap on blast here, but they just make the denim not the food. But this tactic doesn't help the cause. And the one thing all fat guys do is they wear a size larger than they really are, which only makes them look bigger. Just because you're big, doesn't mean you can't dress well. Look at Costello & Tagliapietra. They obviously don't miss a meal, but they are still very well put together. It's also their job since their designers, but just because your temple is 80% body fat, doesn't mean you can just wear a muumuu and call it a day.

Real men don't need to diet, they just need to take better care of themselves and put more effort into how they dress. Did you expect me to give diet tips? I'm not a doctor. I only play one on TV.

YES:Even when you're fat, it's still all about the fit. Gentlemen, embrace your curves.
NO: Dressing in all black is not slimming when you're fat. You still look fat but in black.
MAYBE: You should invest in better accessories (i.e. shoes, ties or watch).

Gilt; It's not me...it's you

Dear Gilt,

I was there at the very beginning eager to participate in the virtual auction. It was thrilling to sneak a bid during my lunch break at my lonely cubicle just to get my greedy little hands on the discounted Philip Lim leather jacket. But then you changed. You decided to expand into children's, homewares, bedding, travel, food and anything else you could sell. If it were slave days, I wouldn't put it past you to offer people on your site for a cheap discount and affordable prices with express shipping.

I miss those days when you offered focused merchandise that I actually wanted to buy. Now you're just all over the place. Who the hell are some of these so-called brands you want me to buy in a hot second? Even you must question some of the things you're selling because instead of having a designer sale, you're now having a "lifestyle" sale. Today's sale is Fall Essentials...really? You're not fooling me, Gilt.

But hey, I understand why you did it. You had some fierce competition coming up behind you. There's RueLaLa, HauteLook, Fab and anyone else with a web developer based in India and a crazy new idea. It's over saturation and you felt threatened by the young guns giving you a run for your money. It doesn't mean you had to change just because there were more flash sale sites out there. Instead of staying true to who you are, you tried to sex it up with home, kids and travel. It was too much and you made all these changes so fast like an over eager teen losing his virginity. Just when I was becoming a loyal shopper, you became someone else. You became someone I can't see myself with in the future spending my money. I'm no longer in love you with Gilt.

Take care of yourself. I'll see you around.

Xoxo,

#Unsubscribe

YES: I'm no longer in love with Gilt
NO: It should also not be your GILTY pleasure any more
MAYBE: It's time to revisit my old flame...ebay...nah, that was worse

High-tops with High prices

 

The great 90's weight loss infomercial guru--Susan Powter--created a catchy phrase that caught on like wild fire. By calling on all the fatties in America to "STOP THE INSANITY," she made a simple but powerful point. Her rally cry for clarity for common sense for people to wake up and smell the Sanka resonated with a population who was fed up.

In a way, I'm also fed up. I'm tired of the $100 t-shirts, the $300 jeans, the $600 sneakers. I propose a chicken and egg analogy. Did the $1 Hanes t-shirt come before the $100 Dior t-shirt? Did the $5 Levis Strauss jeans come before the $500 denim that fashion editors obsess about? And did the $30 Nike sneakers come before the $600 version?

The fashionable types might argue the sense of design supports the value that designers are asking for and how the designers have refined the common every day items that have existed. It's true a dress is just a dress. Pants are just pants. But put a seam here, taper it there and use striped fabric in an interesting way and it's no longer just pants or just a dress.

I agree with that. Thoughtful design deserves the extra charge. But a t-shirt with a designer logo, a high-top sneaker with a strip of exotic crocodile and jeans given a worn used look don't qualify for me.   

Let's STOP THE INSANITY and stop wasting money on the frivolous.

YES: You can spend whatever you want if buying a Michael Kors cashmere hoodie is your equivalent to shopping the Gap
 NO: It's not worth putting yourself in debt for a designer t-shirt
MYABE: You can use the money you save on basics to help a charity. I recommend Heifer International.

Hair Today; Still Hair Tomorrow

 

Mesmerized. That's the only word to describe how I feel about this YouTube sensation called Caboki. It's like Japanese drama theater for men's hair. And men obsess about their hair as much as women obsess about their breasts, their butt, their nose, their feet, hands, lips...okay, women obsess about every body part they have. In some ways, women are masochists. If it's a part of the body, girls will compare it to other women and decide whether or not to feel good about it. Is that why a poorly written book called 50 Shades of Gray such a best seller?

Men only compare themselves to other men based on a few things:

1. Money

2. Penis size

3. Hot wife

4. Hair

5. Body types

They do this because the other things make up for what they're lacking. It's like playing rock, paper, scissors. One trumps the other. Money trumps having a small penis, having a less hot wife, being bald and fat. You can buy a Ferrari to compensate for the penis, trade in the wife at the Scores dealership, buy a custom made weave and pay for all over body liposuction. 

Conversely, hot wives are attracted to money and big penises. I mean you've never heard a girl say, I married him for his amazing body. They're more likely to say, I had a one night stand with a that guy with the abs, who will then be nicknamed washboard or six-pack.

Since money is relegated to the 10%, large penises are a genetic gamble, and hot wives are fickle, hair is the next thing on the list that men can feel a sense of pride. It also grows back quickly. Think about the millions of Bieber-clones that have popped up in every fast food court across America. Boys at a young age, figure out that hair is important at a time when hair starts growing at different parts of their body.

That's when guys get attached to their hair. They spend many formative years and hours sculpting it into the perfect spikes, months growing it to the length acceptable of a surfer and color it to the right shade of black to get the goth look they want before going to a Marilyn Manson concert. So it's easy to imagine the separation anxiety men have when they lose their hair. For a lot of guys, it's like losing an important body part. And if there's a powder, pill, hair in a can formula to help them get their hair back, they will most definitely try it. Even if it's just out of curiosity with false hopes. 
 

And Caboki is the latest development to captivate men on YouTube. Sure it made me think of the classic Ronco Infomercial called GLH (see here)

But let's hear it for the boys and give them credit for trying.

YES: Try Caboki if you're curious. Lord knows I am and I have shoulder length hair.
NO: Don't shave your head and try Caboki just for fun...it's insensitive to the genetically bald. Be PC.
MAYBE: You look better bald (Matt Lauer), because even without hair, you're still an A-hole!

Obsessed with Ricky Rick Owens

 

Ever since I decided to go Goth this fall (i.e. make it my primary look), I turned to the master of goth for inspiration...Rick Owens.  He is amazing! It's always the same long fitted silhouette worn by pale thin modes who project a hungry scowl on the runway. It's as if the Matrix movie made love to Tom Cruise's Interview with a Vampire movie and gave birth to Rick Owens' darkly cool aesthetic. The thin t-shirt cut slim to show off each model rib. The models' hair are always long in homage to the designer himself. The coats are so long almost to the point of sweeping the floor. The shoes are always black or black gray or charcoal black or classic black. The only other colors in a Rick Owens show is egg shell white or putty. The lack of color lets you appreciate the cut of the fabric and how it can drape on a body and wrap it like a sarape. To the naysayers who think his look is severe, I dare you to try on one of his jackets first and then make your decision.

Even though I'm a big fan of his, I would never wear any of his runways looks from head to toe because I'm vertically challenged and I'm well fed. To pull off any of his clothes, I have to be strategic. It's all about proportion. Since his clothes are made for someone 6 inches taller than me, I need to cut the hems of any Rick Owens piece a few inches. With all the money I spend on tailoring, I expect my tailor to send his kids to a private university without any scholarships. Each new pair of pants means another $10 for a hem. But since I'm borderline crazy, I've also had t-shirts, tank tops and shorts tailored as well. It's worth every penny.

To make Rick Owens work for me, I have to pay a visit to Alteration Concepts in Chelsea. But as I covet Rick Owens, there's another challenge to the tailoring. But I also have to sell enough Girl Scout cookies laced in meth to pay for it. Like most good things, his clothes ain't cheap. It's probably because he understands that the audience for his clothes is limited and therefore only makes a small number of his Addams Family inspired collection every season. And like an atypical zombie, I eat it all up. What can I say, I'm a fashion freak!

"One of us...gooble gobble...gooble gobble...one of us...we accept you we accept you."

YES: It's time to brush off the black and white Coverse shoes since Rick has showed us how to make it Goth

NO: You don't need to like him because I do...you a grown ass adult...act like one

MAYBE:You can buy one of my meth laced Girl Scout cookies since I'm saving up for a Rick Owens tank top.You can't just have one.

Brace for It

There used to be a time when the only men who rocked the bling were rappers, 
Gumbas and fresh off the boat immigrants eager to show off their newly acquired 
wealth. But these days it seems like men are opening up to accessories. 

Men have a strange relationship with jewelry. The atypical American male (80% red states) has an 
aversion to anything beyond a watch and wedding band.  Beyond that it seems that 
the only other form of acceptable man accessory is a ring that's tied to a 
specific achievement such as a college graduation ring or the kind you get from 
winning the Super Bowl. 

You would never see John Wayne rocking a diamond grill out on the prairie. But 
today you have an Olympic swimmer accepting his gold medal with enough diamonds 
in his mouth to make the queen mother smile with envy. Even Ryan Lochte's 
diamond bling collection would put most rappers to shame.  Not bad for a humble 
white boy from the suburbs. So what changed?

The cowboy archetype is fading away to make room for a new kind of environment 
where women are playing a greater role in board rooms across America. This means 
that men have been sexualized like never before. And like the women before them, 
they feel the pressure to look as good if not better than they would normally. 

It's not that men never cared about the way they looked. It's just more obvious. 

Equal rights means equal sexualization and the price and time spent to maintaining how you look. 

YES: A little bit of jewelry won't hurt you

NO: Ankle bracelets for men are never okay...even if you're gay or a woman

MAYBE: Your watch is enough jewelry for you...it just better be a damn good watch  

Street Style: You've Killed the Fantasy

 

Initially, it was exciting and fresh like a brand new toy you discovered as a child while picking apart the presents placed underneath the Christmas tree. That's the same excitement and wonderment I had for street style blogs when they first emerged on my web browser. I couldn't get enough of how each and every man in Florence can rock the same navy blazer in a new and interesting way. One man would wear his blazer with an intricately wrapped scarf that he probably did in seconds. Another man's blazer would have sleeves rolled up to reveal his olive tan and stacks of beaded leather bracelets probably identifying him with an elite Tuscan tribe. While an older Italian wears his blazer in a traditional way with a white button up shirt and perfectly cut slacks only to reveal his bright pink colored socks that schools us on how older Italian men do a "pop" of color!

Street style blogs in their infancy was a real celebration of personal style. It captured stylish men and women with the quick wink of a camera without them really knowing it. But then it all changed. Everyone created a street blog of their own. Anyone with a fancy Nikon digital camera became a street style "journalist" and the innocence of taking a glance of a truly fashionable person disappeared.

A recent NYT article has shown us, the phenomena known as street style has become an official soul less business. The once innocent pedestrians are now schilling clothing of up and coming designers. Most are paid and some do it for free gifts. Ironically, the NYT also started its own street style slideshow that asks people to submit their own posed pictures based on an identified trend.

Isn't there a Hippocratic oath for that? Somewhere in a fashion bible it must say something about how journalists shouldn't throw stones on a trend you've also appropriated. Shame NYT...for shame.

Are fashionable people killing fashion and personal style in today's modern era. In an age where the latest style information is delivered in a micro-nano-4G-second, a once fun and innocent new toy becomes perverse and irrelevant. It's like the time when the little girls I once knew changed and started making their Barbie dolls less of a princess and more of a pole dancer. Malibu Barbie is stripped down to her bikini and only goes by the name Malibu. Her pole show starts at 9 and the choreography is based on the hottest new Britney Spears video.

Dear Sartorialist, your pictures have become less inspiring to me because I only see yet another model paid for product placement. Thank you for killing my innocence.   

YES: It's official. Street style is no longer cool
NO: You don't have to quit it if it means choosing between the Sartorialist or crack/cocaine...ummm...yes the Sartorialist has less calories
MAYBE: Actually going to Florence or just sitting still and enjoying life and the people who may randomly cross your path may be the best way to be inspired by fashion and personal style

I'm a HUGE Stud

as

Paul & Betty isn't a new sitcom on CBS that follows the funny lives of an average every day American couple with the prerequisite dysfunctional family that includes random gay acquaintances, ethnic best friends and kids who only speak in perfect one liners.

Instead, Paul & Betty is an up and coming Italian luxury shoe company with a dedicated site that's a work in progress. They don't even have a Wikipedia page. What a hot mess! On the flip side, they create lovely shoes for men and women which are a mix of traditional shoe styles with a funky twist.

Take these pair of brogue shoes which are executed in studs instead of the traditional perforated circles. I had to wear them as soon as they arrived in my office. Not having to work in a financial institution has its perks. As a fashion and beauty marketer, I can take liberties with how I dress for success. These shoes might not get me a step ahead on the career ladder, but I'll have pretty feet to look at as I make my way up.

And as I climb up that stairway to heaven, I realize that sometimes, it's the simple act of appreciating the small details in life that's the important part of the journey. Yesterday it was taking the time to appreciate the sandwich guy who gave me an extra pickle. Today it's the studs on my new pumped up kicks that give me a thrill.

That's enough for me as I take one step at a time.

YES: Keep an eye out for Paul & Betty
NO: Avoid Paul & Betty if you have wide feet. Like most fashionable clothing, there's a size limit
MAYBE: You can get the cheaper version of the studded shoes at Kenneth Cole, or you can splurge a little bit more at the trend's originator, which is Christian Loubutin for men

Trendspotting: Knock Off Coming Soon

 

It's said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Then there's the knock offs. 

As I peruse through Philip Lim's Spring 2013 Ready to Wear collection, I noticed this cool and hip look that is gender neutral like a bisexual at a mixer. It taps into my hip hop R&B style sensibility. It also provides a nice way to transition from my goth fall 2012 look to my spring it's black and white Michael Jackson look that I've committed to (granted, I will mix it up with Arab chic...see next post for context).

But Philip Lim's "I Heart Nueva York" tee also made me think of two things. Should I buy it at his store and spend the $200 or should I just wait for the Urban Outfitters $20 version? Or should I wait a couple of more months for the $5 Chinatown version?

It's a common question many consumers encounter every day. It's also something that transcends fashion. Is the Kleenex tissue that much better than the CVS brand box of tissues? Can your guests even tell the difference especially once you put a decorative box on top of the box of Kleenex? Aren't you better off just buying the cheaper CVS brand and calling it a day?

This every day conundrum also finds its way to fashion. My philosophy has always been to buy what I love and pay extra for quality. Truth be told, this applies more to food, hotels, spa services and alcohol than it does for buying basic clothing items like underwear, socks, t-shirts etc. But when it comes to real fashion, I will definitely spend the extra based on design. A bomber Balenciaga jacket that's one sized too big but has these cool rounded sleeves is totally worth it. The Burberry Prorsum trench coat with gold buttons and classic plaid lining..it's a lifetime investment that I will pass on to my extended family. And all of my Alexander McQueen clothes designed when he was alive are considered to be collector's items especially after the Met exhibit. But on the flip side I've never believed in the $500 denim jeans craze. And t-shirts shouldn't cost me hundreds of dollars when I can buy soft pima cotton tees at Zara for $20. Unfortunately that's the category where this Philip Lim tee belongs. Even though I think that his recent look is cooler than an icee pop in a winter snowstorm, it is just a t-shirt with snazzy words on it at the end of the day. It's not something I see myself wearing in perpetuity. Plus the holes in the shirt can be achieved at home with a hole punch.

So what's it worth to you to get his look? Because for me, it's worth $20.

YES: You can hate on me if you're Philip Lim and you see me on the street with a H&M knock off

NO: You don't have to buy the knock off if you're a Hilton sister and you get this kind of Shiite for free

MAYBE: All of fashion is irrelevant and taken to seriously, but I'm not a philosopher, I'm just an average consumer     

Arab Sheik for Spring 2013

Even though I haven't even revealed my new Goth Chic look for fall 2012 just yet, I'm already looking ahead to spring 2013 and how I may want to dress.

This past spring/summer, I reconnected with my hip hop R&B side. But I ever really did ever let that part of my look go. High-tops, athletic shorts and baseball caps have always been in the mix. They were just temporarily overshadowed by my uber preppy phase from the year before.

For next year, I look to Alexandre Plokhov's spring 2013 collection for inspiration. In a world that's becoming more black and white (think Romeny versus Obama), Plokhov's collection offered smartly tailored and layered clothes in two primary colors.

The long tunics worn underneath boxy suit jackets made me think of a traditional kurti, a simple long sleeved shirt worn down to the knees.If you add a turban to this look, you would have a definite sheik look.

I've been toying with the idea of wearing a man's tunic for a while, but pairing it with my classic high tops for the street look that I strongly identify with. As a person of color, it's also something that I'm allowed to do since I could pass for someone who prayed to Allah although I was raised Roman Catholic.

But I foresee that as I move out of my black phase next spring, I may not be ready to fully embrace color again and white may be the only interesting option I will have.

YES: I will not be showing camel toe next year
NO: The tunic is not for you if you are fresh off the boat European descent
MAYBE: You can pull off the tunic if you can grow one of those long dirty beards the Williamsburg hipsters are sporting

It's Circa 1991 via Azaelia Banks

I've pointed out for a while that the nineties is making a fashion comeback since the kids who rocked the eighties harder than the people who actually lived it are now old. They are either in their late twenties or worse, early thirties. And when it comes to fashion, we all know that once you hit 25, your sartorial point of view becomes irrelevant in an industry that lives off the energy of youth, organic butter lettuce and botox.

Since the kids who vaguely remembered the eighties have aged out of MTV's target demo, which is 26 years old if you wanted to know, the next generation of kids have no connection to the eighties and are now primed to make their own mark on culture. Because America as a whole is stuck in the past...think TV reruns made into movies or the same boy band formula but different boys...the new generation of kids who are coming up are bringing their nineties references to the forefront. 

This is why I think that Azaelia Banks fits that mold. Her music isn't ground breaking, but she resonates with a large audience of people who are now in positions of power who probably peaked in the nineties. Of course, they are drawn to her Neh Neh cherry charms and C&C Music Factory beats with her Naomi Campbell hair extensions. And as we work our way out of this Great Recession, I think that people are ready for a new sound that's more upbeat and hard compared to the fantasy pop we've had to endure from Katy Perry's firework bossoms or Lady Gaga's born this way sideways vagina.

So I'm going to ride the wave and try to find my Pearl Jam CD, flannel shirts and Rave glow sticks.

The great nineties Disney animated film The Lion King sums it up best...it's the circle or life. 

YES: In another ten years, hip hugger jeans will be back

NO: You don't have to jump on the nineties bandwagon if you never left it

MAYBE: There will be a movie version of the Ally McBeal TV show starring Elizabeth Olsen

I Want to Lace It Up!

Although most people rightfully had a WTF moment when they saw Marc Jacobs at the Met Gala this year wearing his sheer lace dress.

I instinctively thought, "oh, the underwear ruins the look." Seriously, if he wore matching black boxers or briefs, it wouldn't have been so bad. He also could have belted the dress to accentuate his figure. I also would have preferred that he wore some kind of diamond jewelry to accentuate his point that men's and women's clothing is beginning to blur.

Having been to a suburban mall or two, it's a fact that even normal every day heterosexual and God loving Americans are starting to dress like the opposite sex. Women dress in polos and khakis with their short and easy to style mom cuts are indiscernible from the equally zaftig men who are poured into their dockers and polos. Slutty men and women have equal propensity to gravitate towards ill fitting spandex clothing.

At some point, we will all be wearing the same make shift tunic and will only be distinguishable by buttons that say whether or not we are male or female or both.

Because I live in a highly imaginative world, looking at Marc in lace wasn't such a shock. In fact, I'm in search of a men's lace shirt. Although I'm less likely go full Johnson like Senor Jacobs, I think that a more covered up lace version of his shirt would be a great transitional seasonal piece that I could layer under sweaters and cardigans. In my head, I imagine wearing a black lace shirt underneath a black cashmere sweater with a silver tie and black blazer. Yes, I would wear pants too.

YES: Lace is for you especially if you're a founding father since it was all the rage at Constitution Hall
NO: Avoid lace if it means raiding your wife's Victoria's Secret collection to patch together a shirt
MAYBE: Using your wife's lace underwear as a pocket square could be a nice touch to a suit.

I'm Going Goth for Fall 2012 Y'ALL

You could say that it all started out earlier this summer when I bought a Rick Owens trench coat that inspired me to go Goth Chic this fall. It's definitely not because the Twilight movie series is coming to an end and I want to pay homage. Aloof teen vampires don't do anything for me.

The Rick Owens trench looks like a wrinkled Hefty garbage bag, but it's the most beautiful garbage bag that I will ever wear on the streets of New York. There's something very strong and soft about this trench coat with its triangular hem and billowing back.

It may shrink as soon as it makes contact with the rain or keep me perfectly dry better than a reinforced Burberry trench made of rubber and the world's rarest silica. But this piece of Rick Owens vision definitely pushed me to go all black this fall/winter...and like the old saying, I may never go back.

Going back to my old preppy pastels and ironic geek chic look might be things that I used to do when I was idealistic and not fully formed yet as a full-blooded New Yorker. For years, I avoided an all black look because it seemed cliche and expected. Plus, I've always been afraid of being run over by a taxi cab who can't see me crossing the street since my skin tone is also on the dark side...like my soul.

Okay, I'm no Beelzebub, but I have been buying a lot of black lately for this upcoming season. There are the black Zara tees, black Theory pants and dress shirts along with the black T by Alexander Wang hoodies I've amassed.

Thinking about it even more, I realize that as I get closer to turning 40 in the next couple of years, I'm forced to face my own mortality.  As I try to come to peace with this event, I realize that dressing in black and looking to Goth culture is the perfect representation of death. Although, the black eye liner isn't a part of my equation since I'm not a drag queen or a member of the music group, The Cure. In a way, the black phase is my metamorphosis to shed my boyish past as I try to accept my inevitable mature future.

YES: If you want to explore your dark side of the moon
NO: Don't wear all black just because you want to hide your fat areas...there are other ways
MAYBE: You could still add a pop of color to your black ensemble like I will because I need to make sure those Pakistani cab drivers can see me a block away before they make a turn on the corner where I'm crossing

I Can't Quit Yoox

I was watching Brokeback Mountain the other day and the line "I can't quit you" kind of stuck to my brain like an annoying piece of white statically charged lint that refuses to leave your perfectly pressed black ensemble.

In a non-homoerotic kind of romantic way, that's how I feel about Yoox.com.

Sure it's odd. Let's face it. Most men only use the web to:

1. Look at porn
2. Check their bank accounts
3. Find out the score of a game

The last thing most men do is check out an Italian based online retail site to see if they can score the last Costume National shrug in a size small since it would make the perfect gift for their moms.

This is what I've been sucked into doing the past couple of weeks since Yoox.com has heightened their online sales.

Since I've always been a pragmatic holiday gift shopper whose agoraphobia kicks in the day after Black Friday, I've been stuck on Yoox like it's my job. So far, I've bought my sisters' birthday presents, my mom's birthday and Christmas presents along with my dad's gifts. It's the site that keeps me clicking.

But once I exhausted all my time and decide that I've bought gifts for everyone in my immediate family, I figure that I can quit Yoox. This never seems to be the case. Their consumer targeting must have been built by Steve Jobs because they always seem to pull me back in to check out the site for more. There's the free shipping, the additional discounts made available only for members or the 24 hour flash sale on new arrivals that tempts me to come back to visit again like the best little whorehouse online. It doesn't seem to be a problem because I never spend more than I can afford, but it does strike me as funny. I laugh at how much of a sucker I am for a bargain. And the fact that I never have to go to a store to be bothered by pushy people, aggressive sales clerks or disappointed by never finding my size in-stores makes my time spent with Yoox all seem worthwhile.

I've even started buying gifts for next year's birthdays, Father's Day, Mother's Day and christenings. I am an official gift hoarder. I hope my nephew who is scheduled to be born in February will fit into the Baby Dior onesie I already bought.

So long as I keep a financially healthy relationship with Yoox, I think that I'm okay. It's my online Barney's without the hike up to midtown. And with the amount of orders I've placed in the past couple of weeks, I know for a fact that Yoox loves me back. You can't say that about a lot of stores you shop at.

YES: When I say I want a Yoox gift card, I really do want one
NO: You won't end up buying something that everyone else has (well the odds are against you since they ship their inventory worldwide...so maybe you'll see it in Tokyo)
MAYBE: Yoox isn't for you if you prefer to try things on before making a decision