It's Google's Fault

I blame the internet.

It's the reason why people have evolved into an insatiable lot. They just can't be satisfied. A regular coffee is no longer good enough. Because based on a Google search, beans pooped by a civet cat deep in the jungles of Indonesia provide the best sip of java on these lips. Everything else tastes like shit except for the defecated beans of this wondrous feline and its digestive track.

Likewise, chicken is no longer poultry. It is free range, organic and has its own Twitter feed promoting its hormone free life with selfies taken from the farm. How adorable. Now get in my stir fry where I will bathe you with the best oyster sauce, courtesy of Fresh Direct.

Because all of the data that's available on the click of the mouse has made everyone a know-it-all and in turn has made everyone a connoisseur . Even if you don't know what you want, there's an app for that.

The desire to have the best in everything has permeated all facets of life from the organic cotton your underwear is made of to the all-natural conflict free sugar cookie you're eating in your recycled-authentic Eames chair.

Even the poor rich has to work harder to keep ahead of the Jonses, Diddys and Kardashians. Each time they think they've cornered exclusivity, the other have caught up based on an RSS feed from the Fabulous Life of the Insanely Rich and Quasi-Famous.

This is probably how tulip fever started in the Netherlands.

YES
Consumerism is like a video game. Once you level up and defeat the dragon to move up to the next level, you're back to square one to do it over and over again until you either conquer the game to save the princess in the castle or you die along the way. Fin!

NO
Life isn't all about things; and I do prefer to get my things at a well-organized store rather than waiting in a well-organized line for the one meat of the day. No thank you North Korea. But when do we say enough is enough?

MAYBE 
This is just proof that knowledge is power, which can also be a dangerous thing.

Sucker for Gender Benders

Looking through the left over clothes lingering from the winter 2013 collection on some shopping sites, I realize how happy I am to have broken up with winter. Just wish that spring would move in permanently.

But the winter clearance bins of the virtual world led me to this intriguing piece from OAK NYC. Not only is it sold out (now), but it also made me think of the man, woman or transgendered person who bought it.

It really could go in any way. The design is blah and looks like something my grandmother wore in a 1950's photo. But it struck me that men and women are dressing more and more alike. Kanye is wearing Celine for women and girls who have never rode motorcycle or have a desire to ride a Harley are sporting Frye and biker jackets like they're members of the fashionable version of Hell's Angels.

I have no strong opinions about gender bending fashion. Just wanted to point out the obvious that today's clearance rack is tomorrow's trend.

YES
The designer Rad Hourani may be right after all in creating unisex seasonless clothing.

NO
This piece doesn't do anyone any favors...men, women animals etc. If you want a gender neutral fashion piece, then start with a cardigan, slowly evolve to a sheer dress shirt/blouse and then fully transition with a cape.

MAYBE
One day, we're all going to be Chaz Bono...if only we were to be so lucky. I mean, Cher as a mom sounds like fun.

Trendspotting: Beam Me Up to Planet Comme Des Garcons

Rei Kawakubo, you sexy minx, you totally get me!

YES
It's the future of fashion. Asymmetrical hems with a dash of color blocking can make a world of difference. It's fashion forward without crossing gender lines. That's the future of men's style.

NO
You don't need to be enlisted by the Enterprise to pull off this intriguing new shape. At the end of the day, it's just a long sleeve t-shirt with a funky hem. If the disparate colors throw you off, then get a monochromatic version.

MAYBE
You're a self-identified "normcore" fanatic--where normal looking clothes is considered fashionable--and prefer to stay within the confines of the fashion box. It's a judgement free zone on this blog, so I'll see you at JCrew.

Trendspotting: Making a Cameo Appearance

Amedeo Cameo Rings

When it comes to men's accessory trends, there have been several memorable moments. There was the pinky ring. And then two  years ago it was the Buddhist prayer beads and pocket squares. Last year it was the fisherman's hook bracelet and tie bars. And this year it's the leather wrap bracelet.

I'm here to say that I've done it all and I'm totally over everything.

The only bracelet, I choose to wear now is my Miansai rose gold bracelet that makes me think of slave shackles. That's right...slavery. But since I only wear it on one wrist, I feel liberated whenever I wear it. There are no cotton fields in sight for this organic cotton loving brown person. But I'm definitely down for southern comfort food any day. If the Klu Klux Klan had a picnic where they had Popeye's fried chicken and biscuits, I would strongly consider going if I didn't fear being the after party piñata.

But just as I had sworn off all other jewelry trends, I discover Amedeo's beautiful and modern cameo jewelry.

They remind me of the Wedgwood pieces my mother used to collect. In fact, during my last visit to my parents in Naples, we went to Pompeii where they had a large market selling cameo jewelry outside the ruins. I've always thought cameos were beautiful since they were the original selfie. But most of the jewelry that they sold at the market looked cheap and too dainty.

Amedeo's take on the cameo combines modernity with his classical training in southern Italy. They truly are works of art since each piece is handmade. The tricky thing about cameos is that they each have to be made by hand to size it correctly for a setting. This gives each piece a personality, making the jewelry feel like an automatic heirloom. It's something you know that you can wear and enjoy now; and it will be a piece your child will also enjoy later on in the future.

YES
Start a jewelry collection that has meaning. I'm going to save up for the monkeys or the skull. My heirs are going to be bad ass philosophers. Fingers crossed.

NO
If you have a cameo piece that you've inherited from someone in your family, then you don't need this. Your job is to enjoy and take care of what's been passed on to you and for you to pay it forward.

MAYBE
You saw that Amedeo does a cheap version of this cameo jewelry on HSN. There's not shame in him making money off the masses. But if you want something worth having and not a passing trend, then it's worth the extra money for the pricier line. Just don't go into credit card debt buying it.

Bawlin for Balmain

It's tears of joy because this Balmain dress shirt is everything.

YES
It's the perfect wrap shirt. If I were a rock star looking to stand out from the other bands, this would be my front man look on center stage.

It also reminds me of my old fencing shirt. And I loved cutting a bitch with my saber.

NO
This is not for a guy who is a little thick in the middle. It will only accentuate your belly.

MAYBE
You want to be an haute couture Jedi knight. This would be the shirt that would get Yoda's approval.

Trendspotting: Optical Illusion Shorts

YES
It's the perfect pair for the guy who doesn't want to be noticed on the beach or in life. If you do wear this out, there's only 2 ways to pull it off successfully.

1. Wear it with a matching top and go full on Versace circa 1993. But don't wear the matching accessories. That's cray weird.

2. Wear it with a plain black or white shirt because finding the accent color to match ain't that easy. You can try, but you will undoubtedly fail.

NO
You don't need these snazzy shorts to enjoy the summer. But wearing a pair of these would definitely require major cojones and/or self-esteem and/or a yacht where you can wear whatever you want...because you're on a yacht.

MAYBE
You look like tan mom, honey boo-boo's dad or Carrot Top the comedian. In that case, anything to draw attention away from your face is warranted. Get two pairs of these shorts immediately. Do it for the children.

Kimye Lifestyle is in Vogue

So this happened this week and it's caused quite a kefuffle in the media, which leads me to believe that...

YES
It's a slow news week in the world. This couple's ability to draw continued media attention is a combination of part luck multiplied by the lack of real news in the world to report.

Who cares about the Obamacare deadline, the odd circumstances of the Malaysian airlines situation or the fact that Ukrainian women are boycotting sex with Russians because of the Crimea situation. Let's talk about an egotistical rapper and the woman who invented selfies.

If they are the true reflection of the world around us, then what I've learned is that as a society we are not that interesting. because at the end of the day, even real news bore us.

NO
I'm not a hater of the Kimye. They don't do anything for me, but I can see how they appeal to people. He sometimes makes good music and she sometimes looks pretty. As for the picture, it's underwhelming. I'm more interested in reading the profile.

MAYBE
Anna Wintour just wants to remind us that she's the smartest woman in the world by putting them on the cover. Because you know you can't stop talking about it...looking at you Billy Bush of Access Hollywood.