Finally! It's Here! Menternity Pants

Without any embarrassment I willingly admit that I am jealous of women. I'm not covetous of the fact that they have sole ownership of carrying human life in their wombs. I'm more jealous of the fact they have maternity pants--which look like regular pants from the pelvis down, but the top part is made of stretchy spandex material that magically adjusts to her growing belly.

Lo and behold! I have finally found my holy grail.

Like the Pugle, the Toyota Prius, the donkey or a Centaur, this is one of those crazy hybrids that makes you think "Why the hell didn't I think of this?" With a population that's growing in numbers and waist lines, this is bound to be a bestseller.

Made by EA7 (Emporio Armani's sport line), it combines sweatpant material at the waist with the look and feel of khaki at the bottom. It's like Dockers and Reebok had a baby and gave birth this perfect pair of pants. It can take you from the gym to the office. Worn with a shirt over it, it can act like a man-girdle. The possibilities are endless! Endless!

YES
With these pants, there is no Thanksgiving dinner or all you can eat Chinese Buffet that will test your limit. Gorge on my friends.

NO
You don't have to be pregnant to own one of these. If you're a man and you find that you're pregnant, you will need a doctor more than you need these pants

MAYBE
The gym is your office and you didn't realize how much you need these pants more than ever. You're welcome.


File Under 

An Argument for Seasonless Fashion

Trolling through all of the websites dedicated to identifying the latest on-the-minute trends, the random tips on how to wear a tuxedo jacket for day time, the street walkers who spend weeks preparing their outfits for photo pimps placed outside of a runway show, and reading all the other nonsense that strangers vomit onto a laptop through a url, I realize that we live in a world of seasonless fashion.

Style is global and through mass consumption it has eliminated the need for seasons. Most people live in moderate climates and those above or below the temperate zones are soon to be extinct polar bears or inedible tap-dancing penguins. Surely people who enjoy four seasons need another set of pants, sweaters, accessories and winter coats to protect them from the snow, but let's get real.

Nine months out of the year, I wear mostly seasonless garments comprised of light weight knits, a leather jacket, a denim trucker jacket paired with sneakers, dress shoes a raincoat, khakis and jeans. The rest are basic tees and shorts along with socks underwear and t-shirts. That's it. I pull the look together  with accessories and a little prayer to Jesus.

Fabrics are the real breakthrough in fashion. Lighter weight wools, cotton fleeces which keep you warmer than most heavy knits and nylon fabrics which keep out the cold, the water and snow only support my argument for seasonless fashion.

Like the old saying goes, God made the marble, the sculptor only brings his creation to life. Because at the end of the day, only a handful of designers actually create things you want, the others only recycle what's already been created.

YES
If you're like me and tired of shopping for unpredictable weather fronts that may or may not come and you just want to buy what you need when it's warm or cold or somewhere in between. But looking good is still important to you.

NO
If you have disposable income to buy anything and everything or if you are a celebrity and you get things for free to market to us poor plebeians.

MAYBE
You are a groundhog and you only come out of your hole once a year to check in your shadow; and fur is the best accessory.

Trendspotting: Zip, Line & Sinker

Found these pair of shoes on LuisaViaRoma by an Italian shoe company named Finale Unlimited by design duo Lucio Finale and Luca Salomoni. Unfortunately, they're a small company that doesn't have a cross design partnership with a Kenneth Cole, Timberland or mega-Target to percolate up to the fashion scene, but I enjoy their design with the zipper up the front. 

YES
If you're like me and you're tired of fussing over laces

NO

If you live a blessed life where flip flops are the only footwear you need

MAYBE

You're still into the color blocked and wedge platforms that's currently happening at the moment. When you're done with that, you should look into this.

Watch Out: It's a Wrap

 

I recently discovered this Italian shoe brand called Fessura. Holy Crap! Their shoes are fly!

They're shoes for people who are bored of the usual. And that would be me. Learn more about them at Fessura.com. 

YES

If you grew up living for Transformers, which has subsequently spilled over to adulthood, then you undoubtedly also love this shoe. Because until my car can turn into an ass-kicking robot, these shoes/sandals/bandage wrap combo will have to do. 

NO

These aren't Jesus' Nikes. I don't think these are meant for working out in the gym either.

MAYBE

These pumped up kicks just don't do it for you because they're too weird. Oh well.

File under Watch Out.

WTF Rick Owens

Read this on Details.com and thought how ridiculous this quote is.The man lives off the money he makes from clothing etc. To tell people to buy less and exercise more is so LA.

Naturally there's a grain of truth in what he says. Consume better things and focus less on the material. If you really want to enhance your physicality then do it with crunches versus buying the must-have tube top of the season. Perhaps that's why Rick's clothes cost so much because he views them as investment pieces that you'll have for a lifetime.

YES

Designers say the darndest things.

NO

Despite Rick's attempt at discouraging me from buying his clothes, I still like the man and his weave.

MAYBE

Perhaps he doesn't need money or clothing or even food to live. He can survive off endorphins generated by every push up. More power to you Ricky.

Chukka Kahn

Trolling the web for inspiration during my lunch break, I found this image on GQ.com's Best of GQ Endorses page. Didn't care and didn't really read the text about Unis Lee and her inspiration to remake khaki shorts and charge $180 blah blah blah.

Article aside, I did care about how they styled the picture. Love how the chukka boots--also known as desert boots--look with the shorts. For years, I've paired my shorts with sandals, loafers, sneakers and high-tops. ALL BORING!

But this year, I think I will try to wear them with a pair of classic Clark chukkas like this one below with a green sole. The benefit of wearing a shoe like this with shorts is it gives the look a more buttoned up look. I'm also tired of seeing espadrilles and boat shoes. Seriously people, you're in Manhattan, not Nantucket or the Spanish Riviera. Unless you have a boat parked on Pier 54, I'm not buying it.

YES

Your Chukkas should be seasonal. You can't wear your winter ones for summer. Otherwise, your feet will be stanky.

NO

This is not for the faint of heart. You'll need a pair of cojones to pull this look off. Or you just need to be a professional GQ model.

Also not recommended for guys with big stocky legs or guys who are rail thin. You can find a mirror. You can tell if you fall into one of these categories. My recommendation to you....is pants.

MAYBE

You're confused and are thinking of Chuck Taylors as Chukka. They're not related, but Chuck Taylor's are also perfectly fine with shorts.

Ready for Battle

 Although the fabric was originally designed to help soldiers blend into the environment, this fabric pattern is having a fashionable moment to help men stand out this spring. But I think that camouflage is a classic men's staple that every man needs to incorporate into this closet...just like the denim jacket, blue jeans, gingham, classic white button up, the basic t-shirt and the trench. Everyone can use a little camo.

And I'm not saying this just because I'm a military brat.  Camo can help toughen up a look and provide it with a visually interesting detail that can break up the silhouette. A camo pocket square can go a long way. 

I've bought a pair of green/brown camo pants recently and have long owned a blue and gray camo cotton jacket that I wear often in the urban jungle. If you've ever been to a sample sale or food festival, you know it's war.

But neither of my camo pieces will be worn together because it would be overkill and I don't live in Sarah Palin's Alaska. If you need a lesson on how to wear camo in all of its iterations for modern every day living, please use the recent Dries Van Noten Spring 2013 collection as your basic guide on how to pull off camo. 

Now that you have it, let's go to battle. Every boy and girl has a little GI Joe fantasy inside them. 

YES

I Heart Camo and You Should Too. But not all camo is created equal. There's digital camo, camo made up of animal prints and traditional camo. Pick what works for you but if you're looking for a classic piece invest in the traditional camo print in a color that won't scare the children.

NO

Camo doesn't make you cool. Money makes you cool. And a gun doesn't give the look authenticity. It makes you look like Ted Nugent's disciple. Bang bang.

MAYBE

You're already enlisted in the military and you're paid to wear camo every day. You are #Winning.