Finally! It's Here! Menternity Pants

Without any embarrassment I willingly admit that I am jealous of women. I'm not covetous of the fact that they have sole ownership of carrying human life in their wombs. I'm more jealous of the fact they have maternity pants--which look like regular pants from the pelvis down, but the top part is made of stretchy spandex material that magically adjusts to her growing belly.

Lo and behold! I have finally found my holy grail.

Like the Pugle, the Toyota Prius, the donkey or a Centaur, this is one of those crazy hybrids that makes you think "Why the hell didn't I think of this?" With a population that's growing in numbers and waist lines, this is bound to be a bestseller.

Made by EA7 (Emporio Armani's sport line), it combines sweatpant material at the waist with the look and feel of khaki at the bottom. It's like Dockers and Reebok had a baby and gave birth this perfect pair of pants. It can take you from the gym to the office. Worn with a shirt over it, it can act like a man-girdle. The possibilities are endless! Endless!

YES
With these pants, there is no Thanksgiving dinner or all you can eat Chinese Buffet that will test your limit. Gorge on my friends.

NO
You don't have to be pregnant to own one of these. If you're a man and you find that you're pregnant, you will need a doctor more than you need these pants

MAYBE
The gym is your office and you didn't realize how much you need these pants more than ever. You're welcome.


File Under