Twice a year, the city makes me well aware of just how short I really am. It's during NY Fashion Week that the city is inundated with professional and wannabe male and female models crossing the city crosswalks like long-legged gazelles on the African plains.
They are the reason that there's an uptick in cigarette sales, longer Starbucks lines and a shortage in muscle milk. You can spot them all over town carrying their black or white portfolio binders which captures their photogenic talents and measurements.
Despite their economic impact on the city, their God-given beauty and height is a reminder to all city-dwellers that we are all just average.
The genetically blessed specimens as far away as Brazil, Ethiopia and space, come to Manhattan stomping and pouty-faced from hunger.
God, how they make me rethink my diet and the need for the return male platforms.
No wonder, they have served designers as inspirational muses over the history of man. And it's plainly obvious how I want that $300 t-shirt even more because he makes it look so f-ing amazing.
YES
It's a good time to avoid the trendy bars and clubs if you want to save your self-esteem.
NO
There's no need to call your doctor to up your mood stabilizing meds.
MAYBE
You are a model and you're life isn't that amazing. In fact, being beautiful has created more problems than it has opportunities. This is where I call you a liar.
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