Yes, No and Maybes of the Mens' Restrooms

My point of view to engaging other men in the bathroom comes from a place that I consider normal. You might think I'm uptight and crazy, but tomato...toma-toh.

YES / Greenlight Go
1. Nod that you see someone else in the bathroom whether you know them or not.
2. Fist pump greetings are okay, because it's more hygienic than a hand shake.
3. WASH YOUR HANDS! You know who you are.

NO / Don't Even Think About It Fool
1. Talk to me while I'm doing # 1, 2 or 3. It was awkward when my mom did it when I was a kid, and it's awkward now when the sales guy down the hall does it. I really don't want to think about your kid's football game while I'm emptying a Grande full of Starbucks at 10 in the morning.
2. Take the middle urinal when there are several urinals empty. Taking one urinal away from the other man is how you show respect for each other's junk...unless it's a trough at a bar then pee anywhere.
3. Talk on your phone while you're in the bathroom. Sure it's funny to call your home bathroom your office. It's just gross when you do it in public. It's bad enough I can smell what you're doing in stall # 2...I don't need to hear you talking either with your awkward pauses when you squeeze out your snickers bar.

MAYBE /Okay Who Cares
1. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper. Once that door is closed, it's all you in there. Just flush.
2. Tap your feet...unless you're in a red state or San Francisco Int'l Airport.
3. Don't use a paper towel to open doors. Okay, this is where my germaphobia comes out. But I haven't had a cold in years.