I Wish Street Style Would Die a Quick and Happy Death

Call me a hater, but I'm over it.

It was cute and novel in the beginning. But the ubiquity of street style blogs everywhere is killing individuality and surprise. It just seems like everyone's a street style star and everyone dresses for the sole purpose of the camera versus for themselves.

It's bad news when the only person on the street who I think has the best sense of style is the guy who's wearing everything in his closet, which just happens to be Margiela. But even this guy is street style bait and within 6 months, everyone will be layering like him.

Perhaps that's my other problem with street style. The blatant and constant stealing. It seems like a person's individual style is open for interpretation, inspiration and theft. It's one thing for a designer to be inspired by someone but it's another to just blatantly steal someone's look for the sole purpose of commerce and a styling trick and then move on to the next one.

It's vampiric.

YES
I should look away but I just can't seem to since it's always in my face.

NO
Say no to homogeny and yes to individuality!

MAYBE
Personal style is overrated and we are all going to look like the same biracial child in the future wearing the same distressed denim and apple watch.

Personally Yours

I think that people are over luxury. At least they are tired with the general idea of luxury, which includes an It bag, It watch, shoes and everything in between. That includes the logo emblazoned sweatshirt that you only wear for parties at the Hamptons sold at Barney's for $1,200 US.

What used to be a special item you wore only a handful of times has become over commercialized with every tweet, post, instagram and tragic YouTube unboxing video.

That's why people...err...consumers have moved towards personalization. I've done it. It started with Ralph Lauren's custom polo shirts with my initials and I slowly moved on to LL Bean totes with my friend's nicknames.

The novelty was fun at first. But then, everyone started having their initials placed on everything else. So in the end, the idea of personal luxury also lost its luster.

YES
Fashion is a bitch. Being original takes a lot of work to make it personal and unique. Even your initials aren't enough.

NO
You don't need to pay extra to make it personal. Just get a stencil and some paint.

MAYBE
You can afford to have one of a kind things made just for you. It's called Haute Couture. You're definitely doing it way big.

Wow that's Fugly

Fugly is a wonderful word that combines the emotive power of an expletive and the strong affirmative of a noun.

This shoe by Raf Simons x Adidas is fugly.

It looks like a fashionable boot for Frankenstein before he descends down the castle to terrorize the unsuspecting townspeople below.

Several things make this boot, sneaker, ice hockey shoe meets track and field sneaker a fugly piece of footwear.

1. The shape is boxy and blunt with no foreseeable function.

2. It's supposed to be a winter boot; but the product description never mentions insulation.

3. The price of $1,280 for a piece of molded rubber that looks as good as porto-potty at the end of a music festival is just dumb.

YES
You will see this at an Adidas outlet store in the near future.

NO
I don't think Raf Simons is pulling a joke on the fashion world.

MAYBE
You have a club foot like Oedipus. Well, have I got a shoe for you.

All That Glitters is Saint Laurent

I bought these shoes over the summer and I'm obsessed.

Looking down actually makes me happy because the glitter taps into my inner Dorothy of Kansas and allows me to travel to a magical land called Oz of My Childhood.

In a way, it's therapeutic. At least that's how I justify paying so much money for them.

Wearing them in a city, which no longer prizes individuality and creativity, my feet get a lot of stares from strangers. Luckily, my feet don't have feelings of insecurities because they are just feet.

And these are just another pair of shoes.


YES
I love my new pumped up kicks. Mahalo Hedi.

NO
Watching Wizard of Oz doesn't cheer me up as much as wearing these shoes.

MAYBE
You don't need shoes to cheer you up some days because you have Prozac. It beats alcohol.

Trendspotting: Street Style Homogeny

Watching all the pageantry of fashion week especially off the runway, I realize that modern style is taking a nap this season while everyone dreams of homogeny.

Slideshow after slideshow on Style.com, Fashionista, theSatorialist, NYMag etc. everything looked the same. I was about to post a picture of street style shots from 2012 versus 2014 to make my point, but I bet everyone realizes that at the end of the day, I'm right. Hence, there's no pic with this post. It's all words and potential emojis like :-( for all the things I've seen around fashion week.

It was the usual cast of denim cut off shorts, fringe, boots, funky hats, tiny bags on straps and lots of expensive sneakers. The only difference from the previous year may be the faces. But even they all start to look the same. I did notice that more models have popped up into the street style slideshows since...let's face it, they look good in anything and in every picture.

Perhaps it's because fashion as entertainment has reached mass consumption that all the peacocks have sprouted the same feathers. Each one trying to out do each other with well-practiced poses to show off their outlandish get ups.

Or, I'm a jaded person who realizes that the bloggers were gifted the outfit, the photographers set up the "casual" shots and the real individuals who still have lots of personal style are camera shy.

YES
Wake me up when this homogenous nightmare is over and I can start dreaming again.

NO
Street-style star is no longer a viable career. We can see right through you and your bought Instagram friends.

MAYBE
The street style photographers should be taking pictures of the hairdressers, make-up artists and "real" creatives behind-the-scenes as they leave the venues in their outfits. Those are the people I want to see.

A Man's Guide to Tattoos

I'm not one to judge the design of a man's tattoo since to each his own. So I don't care if you have a tribal tattoo, a cartoon one, or an exoskeleton like Zombie Boy here.

But where you place the damn thing is another story. Also, how you take care of it is something I can speak to since I have a man's tramp stamp (see #2) of my own.

Here are the basics.

1. PLACEMENT: Visible tattoos should only be on men who don't have office jobs. This goes for the neck tattoo and the tear drop eye markings--which is apparently a way of showing how many men you've killed. Guess this is useful information for prison. The type of guy who usually has a neck tattoo with his name, his mom's image or a cross larger than the kind you found in Israel during Roman times probably works in an auto body shop, pawn shop or biker shop (see all of the Discovery Channel shows), a band or a barista at Starbucks.

2. MAN'S TRAMP STAMP: Any tattoo placed on the pelvic area of a man that's right above his junk is the male equivalent to a woman's tramp stamp (a tattoo placed on the lower back above the ass crack). It says gay--just like me. It also implies that you're probably a man-whore...not that there's anything wrong with that. More power to your pelvis like Elvis.

3. UPKEEP: Okay, so the real reason I decided to put a tattoo on my pelvis is to keep my body in check. There's nothing sadder than seeing a stretched out tattoo with stretch marks cutting through the original ink. Placing mine on my waist line ensured a lifetime of ab workouts to keep it in check. Pilates is my preferred way to keep it tight. But this goes for all tattoos. Don't let them get stretched out or droop over time. Hit the gym and always apply sunscreen on the area to keep the ink from fading.

3. THINK IT THROUGH: Try to think a tattoo through before you get it. Ideally, you'd research the ink shop, get recommendations from guys who have tattoos you really like or read Yelp reviews. Names of people outside your immediate family is a recipe for disaster along with getting a tattoo while under the influence.

YES
Tattoos are on everyone and not as dangerous as they used to be. But it's just another ancient form of body decoration. Channel your inner Martha Stewart and decorate away.

NO
Having a tattoo doesn't make you sexy or cool. It just means you have nothing better to do with your time, money or body.

MAYBE
You're more into piercings. If that's the case, I'm not the guy to get advice from.

Under Consideration: Pierced is Firece

Versus Pierced Backpack

It seems ironic that piercing an accessory is such a fashionable turn-on when I'm so easily turned-off by body piercings on a human.

Belly button, nose ring, tongue, nipple and nether region piercings seem so unsightly. Earrings make sense because gold and diamonds help you hear better. It's not science, but it's what I like to believe.

People who insert quarter-sized cork plugs in their ears need to plug their brains because it's leaking with good judgement. I have yet to be in a situation where I need to cork a bottle of Pinot and a random dude saves the day by giving me his cork piercing.

This Versus backpack is the closest thing I'll ever get to a piercing. It just does it for me with its functionality and punk rock attitude.

YES
We all need a little punk rock now and then.

NO
It's not the same if you put a safety in a regular black backpack. It has to be an epic Versace safety pin that shines so bright and sparkly like a diamond that Rhianna magically appears.

MAYBE
You prefer a briefcase or messenger bag.