A Pair of Cojones Required

Experimenting with clothes isn't a science. You just need balls. Because at the end of the day, it's just an outfit. You can take it off. And if you do it slowly to an R Kelly song, then it's a sexy striptease.

Unlike a bad tattoo or a misshapen haircut, trying to nail a look you see on the runway is an easy way to mix things up but still remaining non-committal.

For example, I love this Burberry Prorsum Spring 2014 look. He has my hair, I like the mix of spring colors. But I love the layering of the shirts. It's perfect for someone like me who works in a professional environment, where wearing a full on suit is a bit overdressed…especially when I have to do a sweepstakes mailing.

So I will see what's in my closet to make this double collared look happen. I may have to fib the torquoise tie. Fortunately, I have the murse, black shoes and blue sunglasses all in my closet.  

YES
I'm a hoarder. But I always remain true to myself. For example, I know that boat shoes do not reflect who I am as a person, which happens to be someone who hates anything that deals with bodies of water including water sports. I even wear my St. Germain sailor shirt with Nike high-tops.

NO
Prescription drugs and hallucinogens are not required for experimentation. It couldn't hurt, and you could always blame the mismatched outfit on the drugs. But if it's a genius look, then take all the credit and glory. You will be a street style star soon enough.

MAYBE
You wear a uniform. Trying something new really isn't for you.

Carve the Perfect Look with Carven

Trolling the web while watching TV and sexting myself, I found the time to look through Style.com, where I was enamored by Guillaume Henry's Carven fall 2014 collection.

I want all of it with my imaginary Amex black card.

The graffiti coat that looked like prison tattoos and the monochromatic wool coat, leather dress shirt, charcoal pants and slick shoes reflect my inner prison guard dreams. The collection looks simple, it looks interesting with the play on volumes and it looks cool.

And at the end of the day, that's what I crave.

YES
Time to get your French cool on. Carven is THE brand on the must-watch list.

NO
A beret is not required. But a baguette is essential.

MAYBE
You don't need or want something so exotic but still appreciate the Carven style. My recommendation is that you stick to Club Monaco.

Miuccia Totally Gets Me

I'm a simple guy with simple needs. And Prada has given me the perfect two things that I want to want for fall 2014.

Is it Christmas yet? Santa, I promise to be good for most of the year.

This hunter green jacket with brown leather trim is a sexy take on Nashville without the weird cousin-kissing backstory. It's that perfect piece that can take a guy from day to nite. Well, if you're like me and work in a casual work environment. 

The bag is also something you want to own forever. It's perfect for every day and for every situation even if you're not carrying a camera. That's what makes it a picture perfect accessory.

YES

The shirt works for the Grand Ol Opry. And you can take your camera in the bag.

NO

The scarf is best left to the guy with a ten gallon hat, a broken heart and an acoustic guitar.

MAYBE

You're KD Lang and you've nailed this look all your life. Guess what, you're trending.

Sweatin' their Style

Sure Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis have conquered the pop charts with their catchy and poignant songs. But what I find most appealing about the dynamic duo is their style on and off the stage.

Not dressing like anyone else, I'm inspired by their style. Whereas most pop-stars look like billboards for H&M or they try too hard to be fashionable by wearing the latest runway pieces, Ryan and Mackelmore look like true individuals. Certainly, they probably have hired stylists, but they strike me as the kind of guys who have a strong say in picking out the pieces that they do and don't like. That's why they have such distinct looks.

I would describe Mackelmore's look as a combination of current street style trends that's been inspired by classic rap with its gold chains, added with some court side sneaker swag and finished off with a lot of rock-and-roll fur and sex.

Ryan gives me a fresh new take on classic tailoring and American sportswear without the boring prep or atypical Italian mafioso wannabe. Seriously, I get it. Italians do it better when it comes to peacocking, but it also looks exhausting on the up keeping. Ryan dresses like what you would expect the owner of a young hip Williamsburg hotel would. And I'm alright with that because I'm a fan of his professional hipster.

Together, they create the perfect pair and I want to dress like both of them.

YES
A little Ryan Lewis in the day time for work, and a lot of Mackelmore for play. Just gotta find those gold chains. When are their collaborations with Nike, Target and QVC coming? I'm dying of anticipation

NO
Shopping at a thrift shop is not required to pull off their looks.

MAYBE
You're a Belieber and you're clinging on to your drop waist pants. I just hope you've at least cut your hair just like Justin has too. Lesbian hair is so 2010.

"Great Scott!!" in praise of Jeremy Scott for Moschino

I've long praised Jeremy Scott for being able to design a collection filled with clothes/accessories you hate and want to burn alongside the things you love and salivate over. Since we're all a little bi-polar, he's managed to exploit both sides.

HATE

LOVE 


So it's thrilling to see his latest collection for Moschino (see image below)!

As a brand rooted in making fun of fashion and itself, Moschino has always endeared itself to me. With full disclosure, I still have a t-shirt which showcases an Italian clown hugging a Moschino shopping bag.

But the luster of the brand has faded since its early days. Today, the brand seems to be a shadow of its original self. The original founder notoriously copied luxe brands in an over top way to mock the same fashion system that provided him with a living. Who else would create a Cheap and Chic line with handbags that advertise this unflattering message and have it sell? He did.

Perhaps, the brand is on its way to a long awaited comeback under Jeremy's guidance.  Hopefully he won't delve too far into the cartoonish way that he designs for himself or for Adidas, but more in a surrealist manner befitting of the Moschino brand.

In any case, he's making Moschino and fashion fun again. Mahalo.

YES
I'm excited about Jeremy's forthcoming Moschino for Men collection more than Kim Kardashian is about another televised and predictably doomed marriage. What? Too real?

NO
This is not for you if you're one of those people who take fashion and style TOO seriously.

MAYBE
You still have original Moschino pieces from the time when Franco was still designing. Hold on to them and never let them go…like a clown hugging a shopping bag.

TRENDSPOTTING: Modern Day Pimp

This Mr. Porter look is phenomenal!

Granted, you will need slim legs to pull off the horizontal pants; but paired against a double breasted blazer with a simple vneck collared shirt, and this look can work on many guys looking to try something new for spring.

YES
The hat makes it pimp.

NO
Vertical striped pants won't work the same.

MAYBE
This is beyond your comfort zone. Wearing a darker shade of khakis with cuffed bottoms is your way of being a sinister badass. If that's the case, then you already knew this look isn't for you.

Nothing to see here, so keep it clicking.

Trendspotting: Grease Ball

Saw this on GQ and it makes me slick...erm sick.

I mean, come on! You could slip and slide with this hairstyle and still have enough gunk to lubricate an amorous sperm whale.

The worst part of the article is GQ provided tips on how you can make this look your own with Oribe's Rock Hair Gel.

YES
If you want to repel girls, this is your hairstyle for the new year.

NO
You don't have to worry about this style if you're bald or have a serious shampoo allergy.

MAYBE
You're in a barbershop quartet and this is the mandatory hairstyle. It's ironic.