Trendspotting: In a Gaultier Dream

I was trend spotting today and found this Gaultier Spring 2013 collection on Italian Men's Vogue.

Although all of the other men's collections look like things I already own or things that everyone wore last year, or looked just plain boring, I was turned on by Gaultier's prints, tailoring and urban styling.

Yes, I said urban. Give the guy a baseball cap instead of a turban and have him swap the white boat shoes with some Nike Jordans and he would be supah-dupah-fly. Oh and have him mix things up so that he's not too matchy matchy and he'll be ready for b-ball. But if this is how they are dressing in Bombay/Mumbai, then I know where I need to go to be a street style photographer. They've really got a handle on what's trending. They put da BOMB in Bombay.

Seriously, GQ called the color brown a trend. Seriously? Snooze. Esquire said printed shirts and boat shoes are going to be huge. Yeah, it was such a big trend LAST YEAR, but I'm sure they're all going to be worn by the hottest NBA players and by peacock bankers who can't think on their own about what to wear. But that doesn't do it for me.

Give me a Gaultier coat with paper pleating at the hem but in black. Give me those Gaultier black and white pants which I'll wear with black penny loafers and a white button up with rolled up sleeves. The black Yankees baseball cap would be optional. That's the trend I'm looking for, and it's the trend I'm going to wear. Once I get the right pieces together, I'll follow up with another post.

But when it comes to thinking about warm weather yet to come and what to wear, I'm all about Gaultier.

YES
Personal style is all about finding what works for you and what turns you on. Like Michael Jackson's music, black and white just does it for me.

NO
Don't force it. If you are a banker or a NBA player, I doubt your friends and co-workers would let you get away wearing this stuff without ragging on you.

MAYBE
You're color blind and everything in the world looks black and white. You are already ahead of the trend.

Or you're an albino African-American. This is self-explanatory.

The Art of Layering

It's January. It's winter. It's cold. Your nose runs at the first breathe of air in the morning.But you blow it off, slip on your slippers and carry on with your morning routine.

Personally, I don't mind the freezing weather. Coming from the islands in the Pacific, I've enjoyed perfect warm sunny weather all year round. Here winter footwear is considered to be anything that's not a flip flop/sandal. I seriously thought boat shoes were winter shoes. But perfect can be boring.

Winter allows this poor island boy an opportunity to lay it on to stay warm. In Hawaii, putting a tank top underneath an Aloha shirt is layering. In New York, it's a little bit more complicated.

While I was on vacation in Germany, where the average daily temperature rarely went above 30 degrees (Fahrenheit), I wore the following items underneath my down winter coat:

A thermal t-shirt
A cashmere cable knit sweater
A denim jacket
A chunky cashmere scarf

AND I WAS STILL COLD

I practically wore everything I packed for the trip on my daily outings. But it had a happy ending. I was so cold, I ended up buying a soft mohair rabbit fur hat from a Russian trapper. God Bless Russians.

The goal of layering is to stay warm but at the same time not look bulky. Here are some basic tips.

YES
Cardigans and V-necks: They are synonymous aside from the buttons. They create the same effect/look. Personally, I always travel with one of these and sometimes I layer them one on top of each other (see pic above for reference).
Thermals: They now come in camo and are much softer and lighter than the ones that your parents used to buy in packs at Target. Winona Ryder and I invested in Marc Jacobs cashmere thermals since they can be worn by themselves or used as a layer during extra cold days when you end up in jail for shoplifting (for shame Winona...for shame).
Extra Long Scarves: It's not a surprise that at the end of the day, an extra long scarf can be used to wrap up your torso like an extra sweater or just draped around your neck like the French do. For tips on how to tie one on, visit the Watch Out tab above.

NO
1. Avoid putting one thick fabric over another. It's a sure way to add 10 lbs you don't actually have.
2. Don't mix match so many layers that you don't match. Remember to go with complementary colors. But if you want to add a pop of color to an otherwise all black outfit, then you can proceed...with caution.
3. Please try not to be ironic. I've seen guys out there who are all bundled up at top but wearing shorts on the bottom with bare legs. It's not just a cry for help, it's a sign of bipolar fashion disorder.

MAYBE
You're a polar bear and you can bare the cold winter without any layers since you're built for it.

Skirting the Issue

Wearing a dress

Creates durress 

For the average virile guy

But Kanye West 

Avoids the stress

With a skirt that shows no thigh

Aside from the fact that his shirt is too blousy, I don't think that Kanye wearing a skirt is such a big deal. It's not a look I'd try to rock even though I love the idea of letting the boys breathe freely. But with the ever changing dynamics between women and men in society, it is fun to see a non Scottish man in a skirt.

With very few little things left for people to rebel against, I have to give it to Kanye for trying. But I'm still bored. 

YES

You get points for pushing the boundaries of men's fashion especially in the hip hop music genre (double bonus points).

NO

The Olympic committee and I conferred and decided that we also must deduct points for the fact that you didn't fully commit to the skirt by showing us bare leg. You still put on pants underneath the kilt. 

MAYBE

Your next fashion challenge (if you chose to accept it) will be to wear the new Prada spring 2013 shoes (see below). See you at the concert.

My Indiana Jones Moment

It randomly happened today. After pigging out at the Peking Duck House on New Year's Day, I decided to make the long walk back from Chinatown up to Gramercy.

Meandering through Soho, I found myself in one of the many stores open on West Broadway. I decided to stop by the French Connection because I was feeling nostalgic for the good old days when I first moved to New York and it was the hot brand of the time. New Year's Day has a way of making people reflect on the past as we look forward to the future. Plus, the taste of duck was disturbing my stomach, I was afraid that I needed to be close to a clean toilet. So here I am at French Connection.

Browsing through the racks, I was immediately drawn to this brown bomber leather jacket. The distressed look, the knitted detail under the arms for ventilation and the superfluous flap on the back had me at hello. The perfect fit and the additional 50% off the sale price sealed the deal.

It reminded me of the one Indiana Jones wore through all of his adventures fighting belligerent natives and war loving Nazis. His jacket was fitted but loose. It hugged in all the right places but loose enough to let him reach for a whip, a lasso, a pistol and the crystal skull. He could wear it in the jungles of Sumatra, the wintry slopes of Antarctica and the hot sands of the Sahara desert; and he looked cool in each place because he had the jacket and a fedora.

Everyman has a leather jacket fantasy. Wether he wants the rock star leather, the biker look or the Princeton Professor of Archaeology, we all equate the cool guy look with leather. Maybe owning the perfect jacket makes working in an office instead of an ancient Arab temple looking for a holy chalice less banal. So if you have the same luck of finding your perfect leather jacket, here are some basic rules to follow.

YES
Aside from picking your leather idol, you should try to invest on the real thing. As a carnivore, I believe in using all of the animal. I eat its loins, its tongue, tail etc. So wearing it's softest possible skin is fine by me. Lambskin is my favorite, bovine can be a little heavy but still cool and exotic leathers takes your look into Italian Guido territory...but if that's your look, then to each his own. Just own it.

NO
Do not buy a leather jacket that doesn't fit. You might as well grab that wad of cash and throw it into the wind. Just remember that leather jackets should fit like a glove. It should be snug but loose enough to allow your joints to bend.

MAYBE
You're a vegan and you can't wear leather. But even the polyblend jacket should still fit snug. Maybe you can spray it with that leather jacket smell and go out on your own green organic adventure.

See you in the jungles.

Style Resolutions You Can Live By

With 2012 coming to a close, it's the perfect opportunity to make a commitment to better style in the New Year. You deserve it.

It's been a tough year for everyone. The economy continues to suck and we had to endure a bitter election. We learned that 47% of us do not matter but we ended up voting for the same guy anyway. That was a great way to spend millions of dollars with the same results. Next time, I just need a powerpoint presentation from each candidate and I will then pick the guy or girl I'll be voting for. Or it could be set up like the Voice. I will sit in a chair, and the candidate who can make sweet music will get me to turn my chair around.

The sad economy and the lack of discretionary funds may be reason why sweatpants made a big fashion moment in 2012. Even I made a habit out of wearing my T by Alexander Wang sweats out to brunch with friends. Don't judge me, I'm a tea-guzzling, raging Independent. And I paired them with designer sneakers...you know, the kind that will never see the inside of the gym since they cost too much to be worn on a treadmill.

But 2013 is a fresh start. It's a new beginning. Despite the fact that most people only focus on the bad things that happened in the past year (Whitney Houston's death, Hurricane Sandy, shootings by crazies), I like to think that we also had some good things come out of the year. We learned that Koreans have Gangnam Style and The Jersey Shore and all of its crime of fashion will finally come to an end. 

YES 

Try some color even though I'm in my goth phase and men's fashion is also moving to the dark side, I think that the less somber of us should celebrate their personal style in color. Someone should. But try to pick up a black piece or two. You'll thank me by year's end.

Considering that all of the nerves in the body connect to the bottoms of your feet, 2013 is the year we should all invest in better footwear. I've invested in a new pair of Prada sneaker/dress shoe hybrids. It's both black and brown and will undoubtedly be a challenge to pair with the right outfit since there's so much going on my shoes. But who cares, my feet deserve them. While we're on the subject, a pedicure couldn't hurt either especially during flip flop/sandal season. Your girlfriend sincerely thanks you.

Buy a baseball cap and dress it up. IT will be the year of the baseball cap. Think Jay-Z and you might one day be just as cool...okay, you won't.

NO

Retire the Ed Hardy 4Ever or anything that has a tattoo motif. Leave it for the navy guys and just watch that fashion trend sail away...along with Crocs.

The other men's fashion trends to leave in 2012 include
1. Logo sweatshirts (i.e. anything with A&F emblazoned on it); it's the biggest way to say failed frat boy.
2. Watches the size of saucer plates; because we don't have time to think about how small your penis must be because you're compensating with a watch big enough to serve Thanksgiving dinner on
3. Flip flops for city dwellers; they really are for the beach and having to look at dirty feet during the summer is just as gross as having to look at busted toes. To quote the famed YouTube sensation Sweet Brown "Ain't got no time for that!"

MAYBE

You already have your personal style down pat and you don't need to upgrade your look aside from the occasional sock or dirty underwear. I just hope your style isn't stuck in some long forgotten decade, because the New Year is all about celebrating the future. Even if you peaked during your high school days in the 90's, you need to move on. Then again, the 90s is making a fashion comeback...just make sure your clothes fit. 

Countdown to New Year Style

Credit card debt
Weight gain
Empty promises
Family drama
WTF gifts

These are a few of my favorite holiday things. And you have a week before you have another holiday to celebrate.

But what to wear for New Year's Eve if nothing fits because of all the festive eating, drinking and celebrating. Can't say no to a good cup of egg nog. It would be un-American like passing on the pie, cookies and mash potatoes with gravy. And I'm a patriot.

There is the gym, but as everyone knows, it takes weeks to lose the weight but only hours to gain it. Normally, my go to fat outfit is a roomy cable knit sweater that I pair with slim fit jeans and boots. The sweater says winter and the slim jeans still gives the illusion that I'm thin all the way through. Thank goodness I store fat on the sides and not my legs.

YES: If you're going to a dressier party, it's okay to wear a casual suit. Just leave the jacket unbuttoned to let the girth breathe especially if you're not wearing a tie. Use a dark scarf underneath to pull it together and make you slimmer looking (see image for a visual representation of what I'm talking about).

You can also just go simple with flannel and jeans. Leave the shirt untucked. This goes for navy, dark green or burgundy button ups as well.

NO: Stretch pants or an elastic waist band is never an option even if you're celebrating New Year's at home in your mother's basement. And leave the turtleneck at home since it only accentuates the holiday fat you've gathered around your face. Avoid wearing all black. Something about starting the year in funeral garb is kind of morose even for me.

MAYBE: You can just party in Times Square where it's close to freezing, which means no one will see how fat you look in your clothes because you're bundled up in a down coat. And everyone looks fat in a down coat.

Holiday Shopping Guide

Tis the season to celebrate the birth of Jesus (aka Lil Baby J) with drunken egg nog shots and presents.

YES: IT'S A HOLIDAY WRAP
Some basic ideas for getting the right gift this season.
1. THE CAR ENTHUSIAST: Inspired by the Lexus ad on TV with the big bow tied to a sporty SUV? Then give a car if you have the money and parking space. If not, there's always designer key chains. The classic key chain can be bought at Tiffany's for $125, but monogramming will cost you extra.
This gift also applies to:
--Guy you've just started dating and it's getting serious but maybe not
--Your dad, son or the holy spirit
--Anyone who owns a set of keys

2. THE FOODIE: The easiest one to buy for, you can always get them wine, rare delicacies (like coffee pooped by a jungle cat) and expensive kitchen gadgets they'll never use to make them happy. You may need to give them an insulin shot to get them through Christmas dinner, but they look Santa Claus jolly.

This gift also applies to:
--Someone you don't really like but feel compelled to buy something for; and you don't want to spend more than $20 and that's final.
--A Secret Santa pool. Just avoid anything with nuts because just your luck the person who gets it will be allergic and make a big stink about it or accidentally eats it and you know...dies.

3. THE MALE PEACOCK: This guy is tricky and probably picky about the kind of clothes and skincare he uses. To avoid buying a gift card to his favorite store, the best thing to do is to buy something they already own and love but buy it in a different color. If it's a beauty product, just buy them more of it because it saves them the trouble of ordering it online. And if they don't like it, then they'll just return it and you'll never know he did. It's a Charlie Sheen Win Win situation.

This gift also applies to:
--The pain in the ass guy who complains about everything
--My parents

NO: DON'T BE STUPID
On the flip side, here are the gifts that never wins.
1. A TIE: Unless you're 10 or under, this is never appropriate. The holiday pattern only makes it worse.
2. HOLIDAY THEMED ANYTHING: There's a reason that crap goes on clearance at exactly 11:59 PM on Christmas Eve. Even Frosty the Snowman wouldn't wear a sweatshirt with his face on it...and he's naked in the cold.
3. SOMETHING HOMEMADE: Unless you're a skilled artisan (ie you do it for a living) or the gift receiver specifically asked you to make it for them, no one wants your knitted scarf or family's secret chocolate chip cookie recipe or handmade picture frame.

MAYBE
The plausible reasons to avoid gift giving season:
1. RELIGION: You're Jewish, Muslim or a Jehovah's Witness and you don't celebrate Christmas. You get a religious pass from having to endure finding the right gift. But you reap the benefits of the holiday sales.
2. POVERTY: If you don't have the money, you don't have the money. Make a Christmas card and call it a day. --Suze Orman
3. CHARLIE BROWN: You saw the movie on TV along with It's a Wonderful Life and realize that gifts are overrated and something "The Man" pushes on people with their crazy commercialism and consumerism. Lil Baby J got mirrh, incense and gold and that was enough. Period!

Amen to that!