Countdown to New Year Style

Credit card debt
Weight gain
Empty promises
Family drama
WTF gifts

These are a few of my favorite holiday things. And you have a week before you have another holiday to celebrate.

But what to wear for New Year's Eve if nothing fits because of all the festive eating, drinking and celebrating. Can't say no to a good cup of egg nog. It would be un-American like passing on the pie, cookies and mash potatoes with gravy. And I'm a patriot.

There is the gym, but as everyone knows, it takes weeks to lose the weight but only hours to gain it. Normally, my go to fat outfit is a roomy cable knit sweater that I pair with slim fit jeans and boots. The sweater says winter and the slim jeans still gives the illusion that I'm thin all the way through. Thank goodness I store fat on the sides and not my legs.

YES: If you're going to a dressier party, it's okay to wear a casual suit. Just leave the jacket unbuttoned to let the girth breathe especially if you're not wearing a tie. Use a dark scarf underneath to pull it together and make you slimmer looking (see image for a visual representation of what I'm talking about).

You can also just go simple with flannel and jeans. Leave the shirt untucked. This goes for navy, dark green or burgundy button ups as well.

NO: Stretch pants or an elastic waist band is never an option even if you're celebrating New Year's at home in your mother's basement. And leave the turtleneck at home since it only accentuates the holiday fat you've gathered around your face. Avoid wearing all black. Something about starting the year in funeral garb is kind of morose even for me.

MAYBE: You can just party in Times Square where it's close to freezing, which means no one will see how fat you look in your clothes because you're bundled up in a down coat. And everyone looks fat in a down coat.