Fashionably Ironic...Don't You Think

Alanis Morrisette once sang an entire song about the ironies in life. See video here. And just like "rain on your wedding day" fashion has its own ironies. Here are some of my favorites:


Sneaky Suit Look: Yes, the sartorial 90's are back and I'm digging the classic Ellen Degeneres look for men. A well cut buttoned up suit paired with stylish sneakers is my kind of irony. This isn't going against my original rules where I said don't wear sneakers with a suit. Perhaps I should clarify that I was referencing the ugly/worn/smelly gym shoes shouldn't be worn with a suit. But classic Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers are better suited for a button down blazer than the treadmill at Ballys. Keep it that way.

 

Sweatsuits for Fatties aka Sweatxedos: There's something about seeing an overweight person wearing a designer sweat suit that has a better chance seeing the inside of a KFC than the inside of a weight room. It's even better when there's an ass slogan like "Princess" or "Juicy." It's the sweet delicious gift that keeps on giving. Some would say I'm fatist, I just like a good chuckle at the expense of stretch fabric pulled to its limits. Girl, you put the muffin on muffin top.

 

That Doctor is Smoking Hot: It's not really a fashion irony, but it does amuse me just as much as watching animals play a musical instrument. But there's something so funny about medical guys wearing their scrubs smoking a cigarette outside of the hospital. It's a well-known fact that doctors are the most unhealthy people. If you need proof just take a visit to their cafeteria and the only way you can tell the diabetes patients apart from the hospital workers is the scrubs they're wearing. It's like the magazine says..."they're just like Us!"

YES: Fashion ironies are fun for the whole family.

NO: Don't become one.

MAYBE: It's not ironic like a free ride when you're already there...I know Alanis was on to something.

Outfit of the Week

 

4.21.12
Inspiration: Hip Hop Marlboro Man

What: All Saints black & white western shirt, Alexander Wang shorts, Nike high tops and Prada sling bag
Why it's my favorite of the week: It's not a ground breaking look that's gonna get me photographed on a street blogger site, but it's my ideal outfit. The shirt is purposefully wrinkled like an old Issey Miyake shirt. The shorts don't have belt loops or strings but it's just so f*cking comfortable and fits so well. Nike high-tops to me are a classic. The Prada sling bag is practical and helps me keep all my crap in one place and not bulging out of my pockets. And the look says I can roll on a basketball court of a ranch. Wassup!

My Kind of Safari!

I'm a trend hunter and I confess that I watch runway videos on YouTube along with the Bed Intruder Song just for shits and giggles. "Hide Yo Kids!"

But this Bottega Veneta Spring / Summer 2012 men's collection runway video is truly inspiring. It's Sir Lawrence of Arabia before he got on that damned infidel camel. There are so many pieces that fit my personal style of simple clothes with intriguing details. Okay, I also dabble into a little crazy here and there. Aside from those occasional lapses in mental judgements, everything in this video just did it for me. I have a few Bottega Veneta accessories but have never been lucky enough to add their clothes to my closet because they never have my size. So I am left to shopping Zara for the knock-offs. There's no shame in my fashion game. And if you have issues with that, then take some advice from Antoine Dawson and "Hide Yo Kids!"

YES: It's okay to aspire to have something from a runway show that you can buy at Bottega Veneta with your trust fund money or at a sample sale. If it suits your personal style, look into it like a CSI investigator.
NO: Leave it on the runway if you think you need the head to toe look...just because it works on the runway doesn't mean it will work in real life. You are the reason bullying still exists.
MAYBE: You can get away with mixing items from the same collection without looking like a fool. Or do what I do and mix it with the other things I have in my closet so that I don't look trendy.

Tupac is Alive!

YES: Amazing! Wish I was there!
NO: He's not really alive.
MAYBE: A Biggie & Tupac hologram mash-up is in the works? A boy can dream.

Why is it a Classic?

We've all heard the phrase "You can't go wrong, it's a classic!"

It's normally uttered by someone over the age of 50 and a grandfather desperately clinging to the glory days of his past. This is their way of paying respect to the time when they were on the cusp of manhood discovering their own generational style. Back then, a cab meant a horse and carriage, TV didn't have TIVO and polyester was a natural organic fabric.

But what does it mean? What makes a piece of clothing or accessory a classic? Why is the bomber jacket, the Gucci loafer and a navy blue suit a classic?

Tailcoats were once a classic, but they're not any more. They're old fashioned only worn by butlers, gay chorus boys on Broadway wearing leggings and occasional crazy drunks named Arthur who are funny as hell. High-heeled pumps and powdered wigs were all the rage for the founding fathers, but in today's society it's a bit RuPaul's Drag Race versus something acceptable you can wear to a board meeting. So how does something become a classic?

After spending a lot of time researching, which includes interviewing my personal shopper at Barney's who thinks classic pieces means paying full retail for things that will one day be classics on the planet Tron and looking at all the men's fashion magazines--who are quick to call everything and their mother a classic--I realized that what is defined as a classic isn't well defined, like that one time at band camp or that camping trip with the Boy Scouts. Pitching a tent among other guys is apparently natural. It's a gray area.

What was considered a classic in the 70's meant a boxy suit but made in polyester with a Tombstone moustache. The classic silhouette of the 80's referenced the power suits of the 1950's drag net but included a mullet and pleated/tapered pants that ushered in MC Hammer in the 90's. Neither is a good example of classic long standing style. I think of the term classic as an antiquated trend that is only remembered by the men who are still alive long enough to remember and convince the rest of us that it's a classic. The tie, coat and dress shirt have been around for hundreds of years but they evolve and change. And hats come and go depending on which celebrity is sporting his inner trucker until he unleashes a cowboy at heart.

Today's classic is tomorrow's old-fashioned.

Therefore, a classic men's piece is something that your grandfather owned that you want to cling to. My grandfather loved Cuban cigars, Gucci loafers and manicures. He passed this on to my dad who's passed it on to me. That's what makes it a classic for me and why it works with my wardrobe. It connects me to my past even though it's not directly passed on to me from my past. I'm not wearing my grandad's loafers, but when I bought my first pair, he's the guy I was thinking of as I charged it to Amex. So go ahead and identify your own classics and charge forward. 

YES: A classic is what you make of it. But jewelry is a good start. 
NO: It's not a classic just because you saw it in a Ralph Lauren catalog or a sales person at Brooks Brothers said it's a classic. Remember, it's their job to sell you stuff.
MAYBE: You can start your own classic tradition. I'm working to make wood prayer bracelets stick. I'm not even Buddhist.