Brotox: A Bradley Cooper Case Study

Trolling the web for some light reading material, I was caught off guard with how smooth and wrinkle free Bradley Cooper's forehead looked at the recent Guardians of the Galaxy movie premiere.

With a quick Google search, I have found photos of him where he did have forehead wrinkles. So this seemed like an interesting change for him. And I wholeheartedly support his obvious Brotox.

Why do women get all the fun with plastic surgery? Men can get probed, poked, pulled and lasered too. It's about equal rights and equal access to the best plastic surgeons LA has to offer.

I'm not paid to be in front of a camera and I feel the need to look into my options as I get older. It starts with a dye job and then all of a sudden, I have so much poison in my face that I could be a weapon of mass destruction. People who say that they want to grow old gracefully are below average-looking people with highly developed self-esteems. I'm not the Dalai Lama seeking enlightenment. I'm an average guy who wants to grow old gracefully with as much help as possible.

YES
Plastic surgery for men is okay as long as you don't go overboard. Always consult with a doctor who's worked with a face that looks like it hasn't had any work done. That's the only pair of hands that you allow to touch you.

NO
John Travolta, Bruce Jenner and Kenny Rogers are not good role models for surgery.

MAYBE
You're 80 years old and it's too late for you to have surgery. Because there's no point in remodeling. Just live off the rest of your life with your charms.

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

 In honor of the summer season, I'd like to shine a spotlight on manscaping. Since I don't have body hair of my own to practice on, I figured I'd look to the experts of YouTube. I found several porn-like videos of real men shaving the fuzz. But Gilette's video of a guy with a nipple and 5 pieces of chest hair was the most amusing to watch. 

I imagine that not having chest hair in the summer means that you can wear a light knit or t-shirt without the curly-q chest pubes poking out of your mercerized cotton. It also throws me off when you see a guy with a tank top and there's a toupee sitting right below his collar bone. I'm lucky to have chest propecia.  

YES

Manscapping is all about the children. You don't want them to get the impression that back hair is okay. Shave away for the kids.

NO

It doesn't actually cool you off more. But it does show off your muscle tone and you've worked so hard all winter for this. It's your moment. Own it my friend.

MAYBE

You want to go the extra step and get your pedicure done too. God bless you! You're my hero.

File Under Watch Out

How to Dress Like a Baby Daddy

When it comes to celebrities whose personal sense of style I look up to, I always go back to Ryan Gosling--soon to be the baby-daddy to Eva Mendes half Latina beauty baby.

The Pitt-Jolie clan should be relieved since the Gosling-Mendes hybrids will surely overshadow the former's mix batch of children.

It also doesn't hurt that Ryan G has never made a fashion misstep. His girlfriend could take notes from him because she's had some major fashion fails. Ryan is fashion perfection.

See here, here and here for examples

He makes it all look so simple and natural. Even when he wore a pajama shirt with white pants at Cannes, I realized that I've been missing out on the Sealy Posture Pedic Serta Couture look. And for that I have to thank him.

It will be interesting to see how he will dress for the baby. I don't care what he dresses the baby in, but Ryan can curate my closet any day.

YES
Be just like Ryan and keep it simple, keep it tailored, and accessorize with class...read quality accessories such as well-made loafers and a baby-proof sport watch to finish your look.

NO
A designer baby buggy doesn't make an outfit. But a luxury baby-daddy bag by Bottega Veneta (like their Marco Polo tote) could work.

MAYBE
You're infertile or you've been fixed by a human veterinarian. That's still no excuse. You can still take style inspirations from Ryan Gosling. He's everything I want to be when I grow up.

I Love a Good 3-Way

And by 3-way I mean Vans x Supreme x Comme des Garcons.

Obviously, these shoes already sold out as soon as I discovered them. But I can still appreciate how amazing they look. because they've taken a classic design, made it awesome and then made them exclusively cool.

It's no easy feat to make something so simple and iconic into something else. These shoes have accomplished a rare feat.

YES
It's the double rainbow of fashion happiness; and somewhere out there leprechauns are freaking out about these shoes.

NO
You don't have to be a skater to enjoy this collab. You just have to be able to appreciate sneaks--the poor man's watch collection.

MAYBE
You were lucky enough to buy a pair of these when they came out. Or you bought them on e-bay for 3x the price they were sold for originally. No judgements here. Spend your money however you want. It beats being a drug addict.

That's the Magic of Fashion

Katie Eary is my hero. Her fall winter 2014 men's collection is crazy wonderful. It's like an acid trip through Disneyland with Satan.

It's kooky in a good way because it's entertaining to look at. The twisted hair tipped to look like Satan's quaff makes a great statement about how fashion is the devil. If that's the case, then take me straight to Hades because I have the outfits. 

But if you take Katie's pieces apart and mix the graphic button up with regular basics like a black pair of jeans it would actually look decent. Or pair the printed pants with a simple white t-shirt and it could work in real life either as Kanye performing on stage or watching him from the crowd. The devil is in the details. 

Even the mouse helmet works with a black tuxedo and white gloves. I mean, that's the true magic of Disney. But be warned that a Tinkerbell might follow you around.

But seriously. Her designs are original and interesting. Now, I have to find a store where I can see the clothes in person since photographs are the best liars. They might look good on a computer screen but feel like sandpaper when you actually touch the garment. 

YES

Screw the Disney Princesses and their billion dollar profits. The mouse is where it's at.

NO

You don't need to wear the look head to toe to make it work.

MAYBE

You're just like me and getting bored with the gym luxe looks that everyone's been rocking and ready to move on to something new and different. Like Jay-Z says, we're on to the next one.

My Kind of Ambien

Since the Valentino men's spring 2015 collection is still fresh on my mind and I want to look like a young ethnic Heff w/o the Playmates, these two Marc by Marc Jacob pieces on www.thecorner.com caught my eye.

YES
They are on-sale and it's a good way to wear a trend now versus waiting til spring 2015. This is the secret of a fashion hoarder.

NO
Your real pajamas really aren't the same. The cuts are different. So if you insist, then take your luxury pajama to your tailor and have it taken in so that it looks more tailored and meant for the streets and not your Serta.

MAYBE
You're Julian Schnabel and you can do whatever you want.

File under "Under Consideration."

I'm Bananas for Pajamas

I've been a big fan of Julian Schnabel not for his movies, art or pink mansion (aka Chupi) in the West Village of New York.

But I admire him most for his foresight in making luxury pajamas acceptable day and evening wear (see picture for examples).



In the day time, he'll wear his pajamas with sneakers, a blazer and luxury timepiece. For evening, he'll hit the red carpet in the same pajamas and blazer but with slip on dress shoes and an overcoat. He embodies and defines the literal meaning of "rolled out of bed."

Naturally it's easy for him to make this look work with panache since he's wealthy, successful and fortunate enough to never have to deal with the MTA bus, subway or rail.

That's why, when I grow up relatively soon, or about 6 months until the Valentino spring 2015 men's collection (pictured up top) hits the stores, I will try to channel my inner Schnabel to capture that elegant bed head look.

YES
Hugh Hefner is the forefather to Julien's look and it has been updated for the modern man who has to take a subway to work. And I'm quite happy about it and look forward to looking like a working playboy on the N,R, Q trains.

NO
Pajama jeans do not count as luxury lounge wear. So put down the phone and don't place that order even if the second pair comes for free.

MAYBE
You strongly believe that pajamas belong only in the bedroom and not on the red carpet, the Metropolitan Opera House or the office. I respect that, but don't judge me when you see me at Whole Foods.