Moose Knuckle is the Male Camel Toe

 Ever since Hedi Slimane came back to fashion, I've been obsessed with everything he's put on the Saint Laurent runway.

Even though his return meant that all of my current YSL pieces are now irrelevant...at least until 3 years from now when they become vintage, I'm such a fan of his male anorexic fashions. Simply put, his clothes have energy. I've seen that blazer before along with those pointy shoes and striped red sweater, but under Slimane's hands, I want them all over again. 

The moose knuckle (camel toe) in those dad's jeans don't even scare me off. It just makes me think that high-waisted pants are coming back. Unlike the model, I'll just have to make sure the boys are hoisted up into place so that they don't make the unfortunate moose knuckle look.

Oh Hedi, how you make me love fashion again. Even though I'm not your target demo or body type, I'm going to make this work for me within reason.  

YES

Matt Lauer will save a lot of money by not throwing away any of his jeans. Where does a guy buy a pair of dad jeans? The Gap? 

NO

Not everything Hedi does is a knockout.  It just looks cool and marketed very very well.

MAYBE

You kept a lot of stuff that Hedi made when he was at Dior Homme, which looks a lot like what he's putting out at Saint Laurent but just a little evolved. Well played my friend.

  

Red, White and Crazy for Freedom

 To celebrate the upcoming  4th of July holiday, I found this picture from the recent Thom Browne Spring 2014 collection. It's both crazy and inspiring. The glossy patent leather with brass buttons up and down the pant sides with a patchwork of color from head to toe makes me think that Ziggy Stardust and Pink Floyd's The Wall had a baby and that baby decided to join a gay navy.

This look in some way captures what it means to be American. The military uniform exemplifies the country's might emphasized by the broad shoulders. The haphazard color blocking represents both the diversity of its people and its political process. Put it all together and you get that sense of freedom that Americans take great pride. But it also represents the irony of our culture. We are our own greatest enemies. Because we also put a limit to our own freedom.

Sure this guy can own it on the runway, but outside of Halloween and a costume party, he won't be walking down Main Street in this get up any time soon.

YES

Exercise your right to express your brand of crazy. It's your God given right as an American.

NO

You can't wear this for Puerto Rican day too. 

MAYBE

You're old fashioned and you prefer to wear Old Glory (the flag) in many of its design incarnations. Just make sure to match the lipstick and the flag isn't made in China. 

The Windy Style

Spending a weekend in Chicago, I was struck as to how differently I dressed from the other people around me (aka the locals). Wearing a black and white color block tee with a pair of skinny jeans and Prada Sport dress shoes/sneakers, I realized how I didn’t see anyone who dressed or event remotely looked like me. And Chicago is a big diverse city.

Having lived in New York for 15 years, I have assimilated into the urban tribe’s look of sleek and modern style. This includes plenty of dark slacks/jeans, statement shoes/sneakers, and a lifetime worth of coats and jackets for any weather front possible. To back this up, I recently added a waterproof parka in lieu of Auntie Sandy’s visit last October. She was a hot mess and my new H&M parka is amazing. It says “I Heart Music Not the Rain.”

So it always intrigues me to see how other city tribes dress. Naturally it’s based on the law of averages. The number of times I see a bright pair of neon-colored crocs versus the number of Prada loafers catches my eye. How frequently I see an oversized LL Bean fleece sweater come towards me on a hot summer day in July on the street also says a lot about a city. And my powers of observation are only attuned in local areas and neighborhoods versus a tourist spot (i.e. Times Square, Hollywood Boulevard, Epcot Center).

Based on my non-scientific studies and built-in stereotypes, I’ve deduced the following:

1. There’s a reason why New York Fashion Week is the only globally recognized place where everyone needs to be in order to see what will be the next big trend of the year. Sure it’s due to the longstanding history of manufacturing and a home base to designers. But NYers are also obsessed about being current and what everybody else is wearing now. That guy cuffed his pants and doesn’t look so gay, I’ll try it too. 

2. Bostoners and Washington DC locals, will forever keep Ralph Lauren in business. Whether they be Democrat, Republican or Boston Tea Partier, they all have the right to bare polos. Granted, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen an American patriot playing polo. What do I know?

3. Chicagoans dress like they just stepped out of a Macy’s catalog. Not meant in any disparaging way, but they really do look like the men and women you see in Macy’s monthlies. You’re not inspired to wear something different unless it’s been watered down and made safe by uncle Macy’s.

NOTE: This also applies to all of the southern cities and small Midwest towns I’ve visited. They look like Dillards, Belk or a Super Target (#obsessed with Super Targets).

4.     L.A. people dress like male and female starlets. All the guys dress like they are auditioning for a role of girl or guy next door. For examples, please turn your TV on to a Lifetime melodrama.

5.     San Francisco locals dress like hippies with money…lots of internet start-up money.

6.     The people in Seattle were tough to pin down since it was so spread out. Overall, they looked like New Englanders with their sporty fleece, parkas and plaid. They frozen in a grunge look and I’m totally okay with that.

YES
Find your zip code in relation to the above and see how much of your personal style holds true. Own it!

NO
Just because you're a transient and don't have a permanent mailing address doesn't make you an individual. It makes you a schizophrenic. Your style is all over the place. Settle down. Apologies if you're homeless. I'm not that insensitive.

MAYBE
You're bicoastal and have two sets of wardrobe. Lord knows when I land in Hawaii, the loafers come off and the flip flops come on. Hey-loha!